After more or less two months on the road with little to no time in one given place, my head got a little....how you say...out of alignment? I've been on the road for longer periods of time, but this is was a unique version of this experience.
By no accident, i'm sure, i am the sole inhabiter of my house right now. (Something I love and hope to make a habit someday). One roommate moved out, one gone for the summer and one on vacation, it's just me and Scout. I can't help but think of the old adage that you cannot see your face in running water; only still water. I feel as if i may have unknowingly been the poster-child for such wisdom lately.
I love being alone and love the quiet, but love (perhaps as intensely) people and things. These are often at odds, but most certainly need each other....as i need them.... both greatly. One without the other, and things are not as they should be.
I'm not setting out to articulate everything that's happening right now, because that's what generally makes blogging feel daunting to me, but rather sharing how grateful i am for simple things right now. simple pleasures. simple work that brings pleasure.
I also have a confession. I (like many cynics my age) resist things that are "the new cool thing". I'm sure somehow i secretly think this makes me cooler....it does not. I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says, "Who cares what Oprah reads?" with an astute looking lamb reading a book with a monocle. I think you get the picture. I recently downloaded "Eat. Pray. Love." for my mom because...you guessed it...her book club was reading it. As with these cool new books, (and Oprah's endorsement), I know about a million people who are reading it. I'm not sure what broke through my jedi force field between me and this book, but yesterday morning, I awoke early, prayed for energy and a revitalized spirit (more or less), and headed to the Y. After a surprisingly great workout, I was energized and ready to face the day. (*this does not always happen) I got home and realized it was barely 9:30am. I used to LOVE getting up early and getting things done. There's that great feeling of looking at the clock at 9:30 and realizing you've already checked five things off your list and half the people you know aren't even up yet. I think i just always feel so behind, that I feel like i'm actually evening the playing field for a moment.
I stopped in Whole Foods for a Strawberry Kombucha, some mahi mahi, some asparagus, and some of these amazing crackers I've been stealing from Katie for weeks. Very content (and excited about being home alone), I took full advantage of my AirTunes and decided to listen to "Eat. Pray. Love." while i was cooking....very loudly...on every speaker in the house...because i can.
I decided to experiment a little with lunch (which having no concept of time... i thought was dinner) and ended up with lime & ginger Mahi-Mahi and orange-zested asparagus. It was kind of amazing. It began raining, so I opened the door to my patio, turned up the book, sat outside just under the awning, and ate. I ate in that savory sort of way where you're being fed in a few different ways at once and you know it.
I sat down to work and decided to close my email program, turn off iChat, and just listen as i worked. I worked undaunted and inspired for 5 or 6 hours before even looking up. I finished the designs, emailed them off and then knew it was time for a bike ride. I used to LOVE riding. I mean, i still do love all of these things, of course, i've just forgotten what they feel like. I threw the bike in the car, mourned the demise of my old bike rack for a minute, then headed to Shelby Bottoms. The rain had cooled everything off, and it was a pretty perfect ride. It was memorial day at 6:30pm and had just stormed, so there was almost no one in sight. It felt a bit like a Nike commercial. I decided to push myself on the front end and fight urges to turn back, as i knew it would get dark and there's nothing like chasing darkness when you're riding in the woods. It's always been a good motivator. All in all, i ended up riding about 8 miles and being exceedingly delighted about the day.
Here's to the return of things.
"The other problem with all this swinging through the vines of thought is that you're never where you are. You are always digging at the past or poking at the future, but rarely do you rest in this moment." - (from "Eat. Pray. Love")
