an open letter to jonatha brooke

dearest jonatha,

hey j-train. how have you been? it's been a lamb's age! I knew that you read my blog a lot, so i thought this would be a good way to contact you. anyway, i was watching some videos of you on youtube today. i remembered how good you and your band are at playing music. After I finished watching the videos, i read your latest journal on your website. It sounds like things are going well. That does my heart good after the money issues with the DVD (I hope I made it in most of the footage. If not, I'll be pretty upset, but I can't stay mad at you.) I think the itunes idea is a really great one. I was also thinking about how Goffrey Moore and Gerry Leonard are two of my favorite guitarists and they both have/continue to play for you. That's pretty sweet. So, I was thinking. I know I keep turning you down to go on the road with you guys and be your random instrument kid, but I'm reconsidering. I guess we're both different people than we were then, jonatha. you know what i'm talking about. well, anyway, just give me a call. I'll be ready.

Love and gyro pockets,
jordan

into the arms of florida

greetings from the sunshine state. things are well here. That said, I got a sunburn today on the backs of my legs and am currently on some meds to help me to sleep (which if you know me is remarkable...me no likey the meds that much) the conference is going well. Better than I anticipated, actually. That's usually the way things go, though, isn't it? We work things up with so much worry and anticipation that the actual moment seems to pale in comparison. I've been going to a lot of great seminars (and one that i must admit was...how you say.. not so good to the point i got some more reading done in my book. i'm so ashamed.) The main speaker is Brian Habig, author of "The Enduring Community" and former RUF Campus Minister at Vandy. He's done a great job, i think. You can download the podcast for free here http://www.ruf.org/messages/messages.htm

I've basically just been compiling a long list of things i'll have to process through when i get home. As soon as I begin to think through one thing, another seminar will provide me with yet another list of things equally as great, profound and confusing. I'm thinking a lot tonight about the life of a cynic; about being cynical in general. I realize to what great extents I give preference to my (or others') cynical nature over the naive nature of someone else. What a great prideful wall from which I hope to fall someday. There's so much to think through about what makes us cynical and, what seems currently daunting, how one even begins to stave off cynicism. It's so hard to appropriate one's knowledge of God. The Christian too often knows what to do, but has neither the courage nor the desire to put our theology into action.

A rather backhanded "truth to action" learned this week has been in relation to music. I'm down here getting to help out with some accordion and mandolin in worship. Recently moving from playing these things every other/every day to now playing when i remember or someone asks me to play has taken its toll. Which brings me to my learned truth moving me to action. Col. 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.
I do this poorly. That's ok. It's been done perfectly on my behalf, but this moves me to want to do what I do well. I don't know if it's really necessary to flesh all that out here, this may be abit open-ended or vauge, but... i'm ok with that.

I've really been loving being on the beach/in the water, catching up on a lot of reading, getting to know new people and listening to all the great teaching, but I'm looking very forward to coming home, seeing my sweet puppy who i miss very much and seeing/talking to friends who i also miss with my heart. I'll be home soon.

but he just took polaroids...

when the day seems long

It's been a busy day. Work this morning, then Sarah and I shot a wedding, and finally a group of us played trivial pursuit and went out for shakes at sonic. fun times. I'm surprisingly not tired, though. I think I might actually read a bit before I go to bed. I'm in a weird place in "Jayber Crowe" (yes, i'm still finishing it) where I know I will finish it while I'm out of town, so I have to take a second book to start. I miss traveling a lot. It's one of my favorite times to read. Actually, I've REALLY been missing traveling lately. I'm really coveting Whit's life at the moment. (Whit is currently playing guitar, touring with Plumb and is maybe one of two people who read this. Hey Whit! ;) ) It's weird because I've had days lately of feeling really satisfied and excited about things that are happening or could be happening. Maybe that's it... the looking forward. They haven't happened yet, but they could...and that's what gets me every time. I remain in a posture lately that is at best anticipatory. I like what I'm doing, I just.... well, i just want to be on the road playing music, really...music I believe in with people I love. That sounds like a tall order. I miss playing in a band and creating something greater than yourself, about getting behind something you believe in...there's something indescribable about it. so, i'll stop trying to do so now. I think that's a big part of it for me. There are things I really love and believe in that I really want to happen...or succeed...or whatever you call it. And if I can help that happen in any way, I get crazy excited. I have a feeling none of this will make much sense to anyone else, but, so it goes. The whole thing seems silly if I step back and think about it. I should be grateful for what I have been given, which is much. And yet... the longing remains.

I'm heading out of town for a while next week. I leave for Dallas, Texas on the 11th for Shea and Catherine's wedding, then arrive back in Nashville for a few hours before leaving for Florida for RUF Summer Conference. Aaaanyway. The trips will be fun, I'm sure, but it's making these last few days I have in town crazy. My looking forward to the trip does includes getting to spend some quality time and to better know some RUF friends, but I must confess many of the things I'm looking forward to involve my leper-like social skills. Environments like that often create in me a desire to spend a great deal of time alone. Not so much out of annoyance of others or anything, I just like it. I'm sure there's more to it than that, though. But, I trust that the very struggles that keep me from intimacy are the very best places for intimacy to happen. I trust in all my unrest and longing that God is committed to my good, though I am not. I have traded one idol for another. I have deemed solitude worthy because I enjoy it sometimes, not because I long to process through things I should or meditate on truths to bring me back to sanity. I have filled days with company and evaded real community. Marva Dawn says "If we find out what true community costs, we often don't want to pay it." Basil Pennington said, “The rigorous demands of true friendship…the gift of one’s self, one’s time, one’s preferences (that's so great and telling), the nakedness and honesty, are beyond the price most are willing to pay. But those who have not experienced it, don’t know what is purchased by such a price. Anyone who has been graced with true friendship, though, knows how it is worth it." But do we have that kind of true friendship? Gosh, I'm helplessly thankful that anything I encounter or invent that keeps me from being who I was made to be... that keeps me from "getting it right" has been conquered. I must continue to tell myself that even in my unbelief. Oh, that we might find brothers and sisters that would be committed to our good than our favor. Oh that we might be made into those same people.

good night, friends.
i love you all.



p.s. go listen to sandra's "Rock of Ages (When The Day Seems Long)"...it came on during the beginning of this blog and five plays later, it's still on repeat. I don't think I'll ever not want to hear that song.
http://www.igracemusic.com/sandrahymns/index.htm