sgt. cold toes.

sweet moses it's cold. I'm currently bundled up in a very sweet, but very drafty hotel in Decatur, GA. The show tonight at Eddie's Attic was a fun one, as always. Man, I love that place. I really wasn't sure about Scott Miller at first, but now I'm growing to really really like him and his songs. It's just he and his road manager and Al.
Turning in pretty early. Life is crazy with a pregnant woman in tow. In a totally sober, frequently napping sort of crazy way. :)

where the city in october looks like fire...

Just got back from chattanooga where Sandra played at Rhythm & Brews tonight. It was a smokey room, but a really cool taproom. We're staying at my friend Whit's childhood home. His parents are wonderful and have been so hospitable and kind. Not to mention the huge bonus of seeing the pictures of Whit as a 5 year old modeling child's fashions in the newspaper. Sooooo worth the trip.

a wrinkle in mind.

I started getting sick last night. I laid down feeling achy and exhausted after a loooong day of running junk up from the basement to the attic all day. After not being able to sleep and starting to feel sicker, I got up and drank the rest of the NyQuil. Somewhere in my drugged waking/sleeping, I conjured up an idea for a new toy. In the dreamstate, I think I had just had them manufactured, but alas, this morning they are only existant in my imagination. I had created little army men... you know... for kids. Only, instead of army men, they were famous figures of non-violence. We placed them carefully in lines, facing each other. Ghandi, Martin Luther King, Jr., and Mother Theresa stood face to face with and Rosa Parks. Needless to say, nothing much happened. And I enjoyed this for hours. http://www2.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gif

I picked up Derek from the airport yesterday, fresh in from speaking and playing at the Veritas Forum. Upon his suggestion, I went searching today for the talks from the event. Apparently not posted yet, I began digging through the archives and found a couple of talks from Madeleine L'engle.






I'm listening now to her writer's workshop on searching for truth through fantasy. She has done (and continues to do) such an amazing job of letting truth spread wide into the vastness it must have to exist. She understands, perhaps, the same idea C.S. Lewis had when he wrote of the gods in "Until We Have Faces", "whatever can be said clearly about them cannont be said truly".

Some of the more resonant quotes thus far:

"Nothing happens in isolation. Everything effects everything else. You can never say, "It's my own business". It's the business of the entire cosmos. The scientists have discovered that nothing can be said objectively, because to look at something is to change it and be changed by it." And so it is. With science and with the difficult task of loving one another.

"When you write, don't think. Write."

And in honor of Martin Luther King day... one last quote from Dr. King.

"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter."

you ought to be with me

01.06.07.... watched high fidelity
01.07.07.... took up mission to get some bitchin vinyl
.... mission accomplished.
01.08.07.... emailed parental units requesting permission to reclaim thier entire vinyl collection this weekend.
..... listened to the beatles, iron & wine, joni mitchell, blood, sweat & tears, and (currently) al green records.
..... damn. if anyone can make you lovesick, it's al green.

Dancing... Dancing.. YEAH! She's a dancing machine.

So, my friends David and Natalie are moving to New York. Tonight, a party was thrown to "send them off". It started enjoyably enough. Great food. Great drink (Homeade Sangria). Everyone chatting. I arrived fashionably late at about 8:45pm. Now, back at my own homestead, i see it is now 2:55am. The moral of the evening: Dancing brings the world together. Both Natalie and David have mean dancing streaks in them. So, as the partygoers thinned, the few that stood the test of time were handsomely rewarded with the blessing of the dance party. Around 10 or 11, Nat busted out the dance mix she had prepared on her ipod. It was a mix so totally bitching that I literally took notes on a postcard to download those songs when i got home. As my throbbing feet and calves (yes. i kept the high heels on through the whole dance party.) clearly understand, I've been dancing...and i mean DANCING for about 4 hours. At one point, about 8 or 10 women and usually about 1 guy (this was almost always David or Dawson) were giving their all on that floor. We even went Soul Train style for 3 or 4 songs; coining such dances as "The Blazer", "The Cowboy", a few indescribable moves Butterfly pulled out and "The Scarf". After cutting a rug with the same group for 4 hours, you have a certain unspoken bond. Strangers become friends on the dance floor, folks. It's true. I loved that at the end of the dance marathon, I introduced myself (or was introduced to) at least half of the same people I had been sweating to the oldies with for the entire night.

To hell with introductions. We have dancing shoes.

I'm "into" books.

I’ve been listening to a book on tape. I’m normally not a fan. I just love reading books and lose a great deal when I listen to them read over an extended period of time. I lose track of where I am, get thinking about other things. I just don’t daydream as much if I’m looking at words on a page. ANYWAY. My mother is in a book club. It mainly consists of English profs at Murray State, Librarians and a few teachers. I tagged along in high school with my mom and would always really look forward to the meetings. They always have a Christmas meeting and usually at our house in Kentucky. I’ve had the great fortune of being home for these meetings two years in a row. On the drive home today, I had planned my listening schedule so that I would finish the book just as I exited off of I-24. I was thoroughly engrossed in the book, (which I just realized I’ve yet to reveal…. It’s called “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter”) and indeed finished just in time before the book club arrived to the house. However, during pre-dinner banter, I realized that I had not, as I previously thought, finshed the book at all. Rather, there were 9 discs instead of the 5 I had once thought. Something for the trip home, I suppose.

I’m actually reading two other books right now as well. I’ve never done this (excluding being forced to read at an exorbant pace in college). But, I’m listening to Barbara Kingsolver’s “The Bean Trees” and reading Wendell Berry’s “Hannah Coulter”. Wow. Three Kentucky authors. Three pieces of fiction. So much for the spice of life.

the clarinet goes dood lee dood lee dood lee dood lee det.

If anybody's wondering what to get me for Christmas.... here's a start....

Tell me honey, what is it we do?

Bush is giving a press conference on TV as I type. I can't help but be reminded of Jonatha Brooke's "Christmas wish list" I read today that she did for Blender.com

So, I had to make a call today. A kind of important call...as calls that I make go. So, I prepped. I made sure I had all my notes there, a working pen and notebook, I used my Nettie Pot so I could get the passages open and get the most direct path for oxygen to the brain going. I made sure the phone was charged, pulled up relevant emails and websites to have in front of me and I was ready. I made the call. As with most things, it wasn't that big of a deal and more went into worrying/prepping than the actual conversation. But halfway through the conversation I looked down and thought, "I wonder if this guy realizes that I'm in pajamas with blue moose on them...or what he would think if he did have such information." Ah the habits of the self-employed. As I hung up the phone, the thought occurred to me that through the entire conversation, I was using the business voice. You know, a little too quick to the nervous laugh, overly cheery and above all, the moderately obnoxious over-annunciation. But as soon as I got off the phone, I thought how I wish I spoke like that a bit more to my friends on the phone. I mumble. I know it. As soon as I get off the phone with a few people in particular, I have that "I left the stove on" moment of remembering..."Shit. I forgot not to mumble!". One day. Don't give up hope, friends.

Speaking of being self-employed, I had a shoot with David Phelps and his band today at a rehearsal space here in town called Soundcheck. (I'll post some on the flickr site tomorrow) I got there on time which means I got to hear 3-4 songs as they were running late. (who would have guessed?) But, it was a fun time all around. Everyone was very kind and the actual taking of the pictures went fairly flawlessly, but you never know if it's what they want. Especially when there are many many parties to please. When I first pulled up today, an older gentleman who was pulling out of the space near the door rolled down his window and asked, "What are their names?" I realized then that he had seen me pull in with Levi & Scout in the backseat. We talked about dogs for a minute and he reaches into his glove box and extracts two large bones he explains that he regularly gets from a local BBQ joint and would like to give these two specimens to my pups. It was very sweet, but I then realize I'm walking into Soundcheck with two big ham bones. I shoved them in my purse and kept trucking.
There's something about tours like that coming together where a lot of the crew doesn't know each other that everyone feels the need to tell stories. It's very funny and usually entertaining. One of today's gems was told by a boisterous Brit who explained how his (insert generic relative here) was once in a Christmas pageant playing the Inn keeper. When Mary and Joseph approached the Inn keeper and asked if they might have room for them in the Inn. Silence. No response. Joseph asks again, "I'm Joseph. This is my wife Mary. She's with child and in need of a room. Would you have room for us?" Still, the Inn Keeper did not respond and finally mumbled under his breath, "I can't remember my line." Joseph finally mumbled back, "Just say something!". So, in a loud voice, the Inn Keeper proclaims, "Sure! We've got tons of room! Come on in!" bah dum dum.


Currently Listening to:

Lovers Electric - "Lovers Electric" -

This is my friend Butterfly's sister and brother-in-law's (David & Eden) band. I can't stop listening to their record and listen to the single, "Honey" more than is normal. Check out the totally sweet video here.

crisp autumn day. leaves are in full turn and it's gorgeous to watch. slept in a bit after the scary movie marathon with bob and peter last night. We watched the beginning of Hostel until Bob asked that we...not. Oh, those squeemish boys. I did forget how vulgar the beginning of that movie is, though. sheesh. grabbed some thai with derek then went to see judd & maggie at 12th and Porter with Andy Davis and Peter Bradley Adams. I really enjoyed J&M's set. Sometimes I forget what people do for a living...especially friends who play music for a living b/c I don't often get to see them at work. But every time I do it's almost always wonderful and complex.


if i keep saving drafts of blogs hoping to finish them, i'll never blog.

thoughts on this day

I usually buy a book of poetry of some sort when I travel. This trip has yielded six thus far, but four were from goodwill. I'm taking a gimme.

I finally finished "Tell We Have Faces". It was beautiful. I'm still soaking in it. The next day, I began my first attempt at Proust; "A Remembrance of Things Past: Swan's Way" to be specific. On a break, thumbing through my new poetry collection, I read "A Bookmark" by Tom Disch. He writes, "Four years ago, I started reading Proust. Although I'm past the halfway point, I still have seven hundred pages of reduced type left before I reach the end...Four years ago, by God! - and even then how I was looking forward to the day I would be able to forgive, at last, and to forget "Remembrance of Things Past." Hmm. This may be a sign.

I love traveling and long to do it more often. I love being able to schluff obligations and deadlines and... everything. Even if just for the afternoon...just for a week. We need breaks. Even from things we love. Should an independently wealthy investor want to fund my...how you say....life studies. I should keep a house in Nashville and another in Ireland. Or Scotland.... for many reasons. ...and because there's always the anticipation of the change, the chance that what is wrong is the result of where you are.

just like him

Thursday night before the Indigo Girls show at the Ryman, Derek and I waited out front talking a bit with Mary Gauthier about the Sufjan Stevens show we'd seen just a week or so before. She quickly and adamantly said she couldn't accept... or "get" Sufan's song "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." Suggesting Stevens just went too far. And I totally get that. In a moment of moxie, I said that while I can completely see the irreverence of it, it's the last stanza that makes the story worth the telling. Tonight I remember why. I read a little wikipedia on John Wayne Gacy and might just have nightmares about clowns tonight. They were not previously a phobia, but that may have just changed. Gacy did some heinous things to over 30 boys whom he later buried under his house or threw in the river when he ran out of room there.

Sufjan tells his story this way:

His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God

Are you one of them?

He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth



And then there's the final stanza.....

And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid


I understand that it's hard to believe we are capable of such horrible things, but I think to be able to say "I would never be capable of anything like that", brings with it ideas of labeling certain people(s) "bad". This necessarily means that you must be "good" or have within you enough good to be able to control or overcome the bad. ...In my experience, my ability to control such...um...how you say... sucks.

All I know is, I have a hard, hard heart. I can so easily betray what I know to be true for irrational reactions in anger, fear or hurt. Cold is my warmest thought.

I love so poorly.
....and yet God is a God committed relentlessly loving his rebel children.


love,
jordan


"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness." - c.s. lewis

Crash of 2006

Computer Crash + Deadline =










to be continued...

Free Derek Webb

My friend Derek is giving away his record, "Mockingbird" for free. Go to www.freederekwebb.com and you can download his entire record for free. Seriously. Free. It's such a good record too. Tell all your friends. and your friends' friends. Go.. now.

smile like you mean it.

i've noticed something about myself lately. this can often be an unsettling thing...like realizing your fly's unzipped. you wonder how long it's been like that and why no one has told you before. So, anyway, I've noticed lately this distance i keep with people i care about. I feel like I'm not usually quick to say I care about them or I miss them or whatever the case may be. I remember Judy was always good at that. I even remember at her funeral being overwhelmed with the desire to carry on these characteristics I so loved in her. But, I'm so bad at it. I could say it comes with age, but I think that's probably a cop-out. I think there's a lot of fear tied to it. I've always felt it with things like that. No one wants to be that guy. well, at least part of me is always scared that i am, i think. It's so good for me to be around people who say those things when they mean them. just hearing them gives me courage to want to do the same, and reminds me that life's too short not to.

love deep.
love well.

we'll go down to the water's edge...

Life has been so full lately. I mean that in so many ways. The most obvious of late being that my hours seem to be filled up with things I have to do or places I have to be at all times. The blogging phenomenon usually happens when i'm forced to stop for a second by an outside force. This is where our story begins. Ok, it's not really a story at all. But, I'm somewhere...um... Cedar Hill, TN? I dunno. I could have just made that up. But, the RUF core group retreat is here this year. I know. I'm not in college. Get off me. A friend and supporter of Kevin and RUF owns this unbelievable houseboat on which we are now staying. It really is like a house.. but nicer than mine. i just can't believe how cool it is. jacuzzi. slide. huge grill, bar, tv, wireless internet, sleeps 15. I'm in one of 4 bedrooms I think. It's just crazy.

Now, I can't say for sure, but I don't forsee myself or anyone I may one day marry being able to afford anything like this...ever. So, I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. :) We took the ski boat out this afternoon. I tubed and got flipped off the back and then I drove the ski boat for a while and Robert skied. It was sooo fun. I miss driving boats and just being on the water in general. I think I could live on the water for a while. I'm just sayin.

well, it's 2am and i can't imagine that the person sleeping a few feet away wants to hear me type any longer than i already have, so i'm off to the land of wink and nod. night, kids.

it's still rock n' roll to me

We played a really late show last night in town. Our smallest crowd yet, but it was a really fun night none-the-less. i turned off the alarm before i went to bed last night, so i actually slept in a bit. sandra came over and we went to home depot and the expo center. no finds on this trip, but i did get some potting soil and lawn feed. came home and finished editing the last batch of photos and uploaded them. man. what a load off. i started doing some yard work, took a break and made some tasty salmon for lunch. then hit the yard again. i've let it get so unruly that it's really satisfying to get it back under control. i'm not completely done yet, but i've gotten quite a bit done today. talked with the rents for a while. i was trying to walk them through a few computer things and i got really frustrated. I wish I didn't get so frustrated with things like that. abrupt tashian style ending HERE.

she's a dancin' machine.

just got in from a late night. but, it's been a good day. got up and got some things done then roped derek and sandra into coming to target to get things for the 2,309,858 showers that are happening this month. One of which was today. We went to the shower, but left early b/c none of us had eaten. We went to Mediteranian Cuisine and it was delicious. it hit the spot. came back to the webb casa and walked the dogs. went to pick up butterfly and we went to an art opening at the gallery where dawson works downtown. Some of the stuff was really cool. Most of the photographs make me wonder how they got in there and why I can't be in there too. (that sounded really bratty) After that, we headed to The Alley Cat. We met up with Kiki, Allison, Bob, Michelle and Co. Allison actually brought Trivial Pursuit in her handbag and we ended up playing an entire game on the patio at the bar. It was delightful and of course, we won. :) Natlie and David came out after dinner and LT rolled in late as well. Thus began the dance party. I think Natalie needs her own reality show. or at least video podcast. i'm just sayin.

Derek and Sandra are leaving for L.A. tomorrow, so I get to hang out with Levi this week. This means I'll need to get up early and go get the little ball of preciousness, so I must go to bed. Oh, and as promised... pictures from Dawson's Taco Extravaganza....oh... and hell yes, I made those cakes. :)





trying to make scout join in the fun. she would not have it.




and we lit our hands on fire.



TACO!!!!!

I need a camera to my eye

Had a nice low-key night last night. I went to Dawson's and we taped some footage for the video podcasts we're going to start doing. After we finished, I roped him into coming with me to Katy Bowser-Hutson's CD Release party. We got there a little late, but I'm glad we made it. Everything sounded great and it was really great to see everyone. Kelly & David Richter were there in town from St.Louis and Derek and Sandra were back from their travels. I was really happy to see everyone. Afterwards, we called LT with intentions of meeting up with that crew, but we both didn't want to go to a smoky bar, so we went to Kroger and bought groceries. Funny alternative.

It was still pretty early, so I called Bob and ended up going over to his and Peter Noble and Amy and Ben's house. We ended up talking for a few hours and then Peter showed me the room he built in the basement where he lives. Peter's family makes these amazing cameras called Noblex that have a rotating slit to expose the 120 film it uses creating these amazing panoramic images.




He had a couple there and a couple more 35mm versions. It was unbelievably fun to get to play with them. I was so excited about it, then he said, "Oh. I have to show you my other camera." Then he pulls out a Hasselblad. I couldn't believe it. Then he told me that he got it from Bob's uncle who inherited two and was going to sell them for $250. I just can't get over it. But, Peter said I can borrow them sometime. I'm already excited. :)

I have to clean again today. We're having another birthday party for Dawson. The first one had to be moved inside b/c it rained. But, this one is going to be an outside fiesta. Butterfly's making a bunch of tacos and I'm baking two cakes (pictures to come). Also, my mom's coming in town to go to the doctor and I have to clean the house to show her friend Pam.

Last night at the Radio Cafe, we talked about blogging Daniel Tashian style. In retrospect, it's hard to stop blogging like that in a way. It's like reading a book. When you read that writer everyday, it effects your syntax and style in writing and thought. Funny.

things i typed today in my blog

a lot of times i get bogged down with the idea of doing things... to the point that i don't do them, b/c i don't want to half-ass things. but, i really just end up waiting so long that i have to hurry and do it, so that happens anyway. i do this with blogging as well. i had a really bad falling/crashing sort of experience on the Harpeth river on Saturday. It could have been a lot worse, though. Everything is really bruised and I have a lot of ugly scrapes and cuts everywhere, but i still have the use of my limbs and such. which i'm excited about. so, anyway. i'll tell more about that later. but, no kidding... it hurts to type.

i've really loved reading daniel tashian's blog lately. it's unreal. he just lists everything he does or thinks that day. almost to an uncomfortable level. but, i dig reading it. i especially love when he a) lists the price of meal, haircut or item that was purchased that day and b) that he lists the last name of everyone in his blog... even his really good friends that are in almost every blog. somehow this really amuses me...every time.

i might steal that. it would probably just sound pretentious coming from me, though. crappers.

things i've done lately:

-saw superman ($11) at the IMAX on opening night in 3D with Laura Taylor, Charrisa Imaken, Robert Stowers, Robert "Bob" Wilson, Butterfly Boucher and Dawson Wells. (how's that? :) ) It was the first feature film in 3D (well, four scenes of it). It was so fun. there were people dressed up and everything. i felt like i was at an amusement park or something. here are some fun pictures.




It had been a long time since i had been to opry mills. the next day, though butterfly and i went back and i bought black and white chucks. i think i'm going to wear them tonight at the show at mercy lounge. we're playing 8 off 8th. i didn't know who was playing until today, and it's funny how many of them are friends. most of the times i've been, i haven't heard of most of the people playing.

oh. i forgot i'm listing things.

--made action figure dolls with the band. we're going to do some video podcasts. I'm so excited. i love making videos. We bought barbies/ken dolls and cut and colored their hair to make them look like each member of the band. who does this? i mean really. we're weird.

-took my first trip to bobbie's dairy dip with Rachel Briggs and Laura Taylor (stiiiiill funny to list names). it was good. but, i was sad that i was too full to get a dipped cone.. even if it was at bobbie's dairy DIP.

it's getting late. i need to shower before i meet the other kids to load in. i think this blog has been stream of conciousness enough to make daniel tashian AND james joyce proud. talk soon.

the sun shines bright on my old kentucky home

Greetings from Lexington, KY. I dig this town. I do. I can't say I have any desire to live here, really, but it's really charming and I always enjoy visiting. I'm in town rehearsing with Daniel Bailey for Icthus. I can't imagine that anyone who would read this is going, but we're playing on Thursday and Redflecks are on Sat. If such a scenario should happen. Aaaanyway. I drove up yesterday afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed the drive. I listened to a sermon I missed at CCEN that Kevin preached in Craig's absence. I had downloaded quite a few new podcasts for the trip including Garrison Keilor's "Writer's Almanac" which was excellent. Before I left, a friend gave me Madonna's "immaculate Collection". That got me through quite a ways let me say. If she wasn't Madonna, would anyone let her sing? I'm just sayin. the whole time i thought... "her voice is dreadful... I LOVE THIS SONG!" Sometimes you just can't stop the rock, ya know?

Oh weird. I'm at this coffee shop drinking some really great tea (while everyone else is at work :) ) and Bob Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" just came on. They've had some excellent music this morning (David Mead, Bob, etc.) but this selection is weirding me out a small amount b/c it's my ring on my phone. On some level, I'm ashamed that I've made Bob Dylan into a ring on my phone, but on another level I love that man and am happy every time my phone rings. So, it's a toss up, ya know?

For those of you keeping score, you will notice a new addition to the "currently reading" section. That's 3 books down in... i dunno. but I'm excited. I just finished Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies". It was lovely. She put words to many things I cannot. I will say that I loved the first half of the book much more, though. I have favorites and I have chosen them. Today I started Wendell Berry's "Citizenship Papers". I've been wanting to read this for a long time. I haven't gotten too far in it. I can tell this one is going to take some headspace. I find myself reading paragraphs multiple times to make sure I understand and remember everything.

Sometimes when you're in towns you don't frequent too often and friends live there you see just as infrequently, it can be stressful. As much as I really want to see all my friends in Lexington, I'm beginning to feel the stress of trying to book everyone in. That's not what we're looking for here. I'm learning to say no... but i have a hell of a learning curve. Well, I'm almost done with my tea. Time for lunch and bookstore rummaging. Love to you all.