thoughts on this day

I usually buy a book of poetry of some sort when I travel. This trip has yielded six thus far, but four were from goodwill. I'm taking a gimme.

I finally finished "Tell We Have Faces". It was beautiful. I'm still soaking in it. The next day, I began my first attempt at Proust; "A Remembrance of Things Past: Swan's Way" to be specific. On a break, thumbing through my new poetry collection, I read "A Bookmark" by Tom Disch. He writes, "Four years ago, I started reading Proust. Although I'm past the halfway point, I still have seven hundred pages of reduced type left before I reach the end...Four years ago, by God! - and even then how I was looking forward to the day I would be able to forgive, at last, and to forget "Remembrance of Things Past." Hmm. This may be a sign.

I love traveling and long to do it more often. I love being able to schluff obligations and deadlines and... everything. Even if just for the afternoon...just for a week. We need breaks. Even from things we love. Should an independently wealthy investor want to fund my...how you say....life studies. I should keep a house in Nashville and another in Ireland. Or Scotland.... for many reasons. ...and because there's always the anticipation of the change, the chance that what is wrong is the result of where you are.

just like him

Thursday night before the Indigo Girls show at the Ryman, Derek and I waited out front talking a bit with Mary Gauthier about the Sufjan Stevens show we'd seen just a week or so before. She quickly and adamantly said she couldn't accept... or "get" Sufan's song "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." Suggesting Stevens just went too far. And I totally get that. In a moment of moxie, I said that while I can completely see the irreverence of it, it's the last stanza that makes the story worth the telling. Tonight I remember why. I read a little wikipedia on John Wayne Gacy and might just have nightmares about clowns tonight. They were not previously a phobia, but that may have just changed. Gacy did some heinous things to over 30 boys whom he later buried under his house or threw in the river when he ran out of room there.

Sufjan tells his story this way:

His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God

Are you one of them?

He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth



And then there's the final stanza.....

And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid


I understand that it's hard to believe we are capable of such horrible things, but I think to be able to say "I would never be capable of anything like that", brings with it ideas of labeling certain people(s) "bad". This necessarily means that you must be "good" or have within you enough good to be able to control or overcome the bad. ...In my experience, my ability to control such...um...how you say... sucks.

All I know is, I have a hard, hard heart. I can so easily betray what I know to be true for irrational reactions in anger, fear or hurt. Cold is my warmest thought.

I love so poorly.
....and yet God is a God committed relentlessly loving his rebel children.


love,
jordan


"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness." - c.s. lewis

Crash of 2006

Computer Crash + Deadline =










to be continued...

Free Derek Webb

My friend Derek is giving away his record, "Mockingbird" for free. Go to www.freederekwebb.com and you can download his entire record for free. Seriously. Free. It's such a good record too. Tell all your friends. and your friends' friends. Go.. now.

smile like you mean it.

i've noticed something about myself lately. this can often be an unsettling thing...like realizing your fly's unzipped. you wonder how long it's been like that and why no one has told you before. So, anyway, I've noticed lately this distance i keep with people i care about. I feel like I'm not usually quick to say I care about them or I miss them or whatever the case may be. I remember Judy was always good at that. I even remember at her funeral being overwhelmed with the desire to carry on these characteristics I so loved in her. But, I'm so bad at it. I could say it comes with age, but I think that's probably a cop-out. I think there's a lot of fear tied to it. I've always felt it with things like that. No one wants to be that guy. well, at least part of me is always scared that i am, i think. It's so good for me to be around people who say those things when they mean them. just hearing them gives me courage to want to do the same, and reminds me that life's too short not to.

love deep.
love well.

we'll go down to the water's edge...

Life has been so full lately. I mean that in so many ways. The most obvious of late being that my hours seem to be filled up with things I have to do or places I have to be at all times. The blogging phenomenon usually happens when i'm forced to stop for a second by an outside force. This is where our story begins. Ok, it's not really a story at all. But, I'm somewhere...um... Cedar Hill, TN? I dunno. I could have just made that up. But, the RUF core group retreat is here this year. I know. I'm not in college. Get off me. A friend and supporter of Kevin and RUF owns this unbelievable houseboat on which we are now staying. It really is like a house.. but nicer than mine. i just can't believe how cool it is. jacuzzi. slide. huge grill, bar, tv, wireless internet, sleeps 15. I'm in one of 4 bedrooms I think. It's just crazy.

Now, I can't say for sure, but I don't forsee myself or anyone I may one day marry being able to afford anything like this...ever. So, I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. :) We took the ski boat out this afternoon. I tubed and got flipped off the back and then I drove the ski boat for a while and Robert skied. It was sooo fun. I miss driving boats and just being on the water in general. I think I could live on the water for a while. I'm just sayin.

well, it's 2am and i can't imagine that the person sleeping a few feet away wants to hear me type any longer than i already have, so i'm off to the land of wink and nod. night, kids.

it's still rock n' roll to me

We played a really late show last night in town. Our smallest crowd yet, but it was a really fun night none-the-less. i turned off the alarm before i went to bed last night, so i actually slept in a bit. sandra came over and we went to home depot and the expo center. no finds on this trip, but i did get some potting soil and lawn feed. came home and finished editing the last batch of photos and uploaded them. man. what a load off. i started doing some yard work, took a break and made some tasty salmon for lunch. then hit the yard again. i've let it get so unruly that it's really satisfying to get it back under control. i'm not completely done yet, but i've gotten quite a bit done today. talked with the rents for a while. i was trying to walk them through a few computer things and i got really frustrated. I wish I didn't get so frustrated with things like that. abrupt tashian style ending HERE.

she's a dancin' machine.

just got in from a late night. but, it's been a good day. got up and got some things done then roped derek and sandra into coming to target to get things for the 2,309,858 showers that are happening this month. One of which was today. We went to the shower, but left early b/c none of us had eaten. We went to Mediteranian Cuisine and it was delicious. it hit the spot. came back to the webb casa and walked the dogs. went to pick up butterfly and we went to an art opening at the gallery where dawson works downtown. Some of the stuff was really cool. Most of the photographs make me wonder how they got in there and why I can't be in there too. (that sounded really bratty) After that, we headed to The Alley Cat. We met up with Kiki, Allison, Bob, Michelle and Co. Allison actually brought Trivial Pursuit in her handbag and we ended up playing an entire game on the patio at the bar. It was delightful and of course, we won. :) Natlie and David came out after dinner and LT rolled in late as well. Thus began the dance party. I think Natalie needs her own reality show. or at least video podcast. i'm just sayin.

Derek and Sandra are leaving for L.A. tomorrow, so I get to hang out with Levi this week. This means I'll need to get up early and go get the little ball of preciousness, so I must go to bed. Oh, and as promised... pictures from Dawson's Taco Extravaganza....oh... and hell yes, I made those cakes. :)





trying to make scout join in the fun. she would not have it.




and we lit our hands on fire.



TACO!!!!!

I need a camera to my eye

Had a nice low-key night last night. I went to Dawson's and we taped some footage for the video podcasts we're going to start doing. After we finished, I roped him into coming with me to Katy Bowser-Hutson's CD Release party. We got there a little late, but I'm glad we made it. Everything sounded great and it was really great to see everyone. Kelly & David Richter were there in town from St.Louis and Derek and Sandra were back from their travels. I was really happy to see everyone. Afterwards, we called LT with intentions of meeting up with that crew, but we both didn't want to go to a smoky bar, so we went to Kroger and bought groceries. Funny alternative.

It was still pretty early, so I called Bob and ended up going over to his and Peter Noble and Amy and Ben's house. We ended up talking for a few hours and then Peter showed me the room he built in the basement where he lives. Peter's family makes these amazing cameras called Noblex that have a rotating slit to expose the 120 film it uses creating these amazing panoramic images.




He had a couple there and a couple more 35mm versions. It was unbelievably fun to get to play with them. I was so excited about it, then he said, "Oh. I have to show you my other camera." Then he pulls out a Hasselblad. I couldn't believe it. Then he told me that he got it from Bob's uncle who inherited two and was going to sell them for $250. I just can't get over it. But, Peter said I can borrow them sometime. I'm already excited. :)

I have to clean again today. We're having another birthday party for Dawson. The first one had to be moved inside b/c it rained. But, this one is going to be an outside fiesta. Butterfly's making a bunch of tacos and I'm baking two cakes (pictures to come). Also, my mom's coming in town to go to the doctor and I have to clean the house to show her friend Pam.

Last night at the Radio Cafe, we talked about blogging Daniel Tashian style. In retrospect, it's hard to stop blogging like that in a way. It's like reading a book. When you read that writer everyday, it effects your syntax and style in writing and thought. Funny.

things i typed today in my blog

a lot of times i get bogged down with the idea of doing things... to the point that i don't do them, b/c i don't want to half-ass things. but, i really just end up waiting so long that i have to hurry and do it, so that happens anyway. i do this with blogging as well. i had a really bad falling/crashing sort of experience on the Harpeth river on Saturday. It could have been a lot worse, though. Everything is really bruised and I have a lot of ugly scrapes and cuts everywhere, but i still have the use of my limbs and such. which i'm excited about. so, anyway. i'll tell more about that later. but, no kidding... it hurts to type.

i've really loved reading daniel tashian's blog lately. it's unreal. he just lists everything he does or thinks that day. almost to an uncomfortable level. but, i dig reading it. i especially love when he a) lists the price of meal, haircut or item that was purchased that day and b) that he lists the last name of everyone in his blog... even his really good friends that are in almost every blog. somehow this really amuses me...every time.

i might steal that. it would probably just sound pretentious coming from me, though. crappers.

things i've done lately:

-saw superman ($11) at the IMAX on opening night in 3D with Laura Taylor, Charrisa Imaken, Robert Stowers, Robert "Bob" Wilson, Butterfly Boucher and Dawson Wells. (how's that? :) ) It was the first feature film in 3D (well, four scenes of it). It was so fun. there were people dressed up and everything. i felt like i was at an amusement park or something. here are some fun pictures.




It had been a long time since i had been to opry mills. the next day, though butterfly and i went back and i bought black and white chucks. i think i'm going to wear them tonight at the show at mercy lounge. we're playing 8 off 8th. i didn't know who was playing until today, and it's funny how many of them are friends. most of the times i've been, i haven't heard of most of the people playing.

oh. i forgot i'm listing things.

--made action figure dolls with the band. we're going to do some video podcasts. I'm so excited. i love making videos. We bought barbies/ken dolls and cut and colored their hair to make them look like each member of the band. who does this? i mean really. we're weird.

-took my first trip to bobbie's dairy dip with Rachel Briggs and Laura Taylor (stiiiiill funny to list names). it was good. but, i was sad that i was too full to get a dipped cone.. even if it was at bobbie's dairy DIP.

it's getting late. i need to shower before i meet the other kids to load in. i think this blog has been stream of conciousness enough to make daniel tashian AND james joyce proud. talk soon.

the sun shines bright on my old kentucky home

Greetings from Lexington, KY. I dig this town. I do. I can't say I have any desire to live here, really, but it's really charming and I always enjoy visiting. I'm in town rehearsing with Daniel Bailey for Icthus. I can't imagine that anyone who would read this is going, but we're playing on Thursday and Redflecks are on Sat. If such a scenario should happen. Aaaanyway. I drove up yesterday afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed the drive. I listened to a sermon I missed at CCEN that Kevin preached in Craig's absence. I had downloaded quite a few new podcasts for the trip including Garrison Keilor's "Writer's Almanac" which was excellent. Before I left, a friend gave me Madonna's "immaculate Collection". That got me through quite a ways let me say. If she wasn't Madonna, would anyone let her sing? I'm just sayin. the whole time i thought... "her voice is dreadful... I LOVE THIS SONG!" Sometimes you just can't stop the rock, ya know?

Oh weird. I'm at this coffee shop drinking some really great tea (while everyone else is at work :) ) and Bob Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" just came on. They've had some excellent music this morning (David Mead, Bob, etc.) but this selection is weirding me out a small amount b/c it's my ring on my phone. On some level, I'm ashamed that I've made Bob Dylan into a ring on my phone, but on another level I love that man and am happy every time my phone rings. So, it's a toss up, ya know?

For those of you keeping score, you will notice a new addition to the "currently reading" section. That's 3 books down in... i dunno. but I'm excited. I just finished Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies". It was lovely. She put words to many things I cannot. I will say that I loved the first half of the book much more, though. I have favorites and I have chosen them. Today I started Wendell Berry's "Citizenship Papers". I've been wanting to read this for a long time. I haven't gotten too far in it. I can tell this one is going to take some headspace. I find myself reading paragraphs multiple times to make sure I understand and remember everything.

Sometimes when you're in towns you don't frequent too often and friends live there you see just as infrequently, it can be stressful. As much as I really want to see all my friends in Lexington, I'm beginning to feel the stress of trying to book everyone in. That's not what we're looking for here. I'm learning to say no... but i have a hell of a learning curve. Well, I'm almost done with my tea. Time for lunch and bookstore rummaging. Love to you all.

an open letter to jonatha brooke

dearest jonatha,

hey j-train. how have you been? it's been a lamb's age! I knew that you read my blog a lot, so i thought this would be a good way to contact you. anyway, i was watching some videos of you on youtube today. i remembered how good you and your band are at playing music. After I finished watching the videos, i read your latest journal on your website. It sounds like things are going well. That does my heart good after the money issues with the DVD (I hope I made it in most of the footage. If not, I'll be pretty upset, but I can't stay mad at you.) I think the itunes idea is a really great one. I was also thinking about how Goffrey Moore and Gerry Leonard are two of my favorite guitarists and they both have/continue to play for you. That's pretty sweet. So, I was thinking. I know I keep turning you down to go on the road with you guys and be your random instrument kid, but I'm reconsidering. I guess we're both different people than we were then, jonatha. you know what i'm talking about. well, anyway, just give me a call. I'll be ready.

Love and gyro pockets,
jordan

into the arms of florida

greetings from the sunshine state. things are well here. That said, I got a sunburn today on the backs of my legs and am currently on some meds to help me to sleep (which if you know me is remarkable...me no likey the meds that much) the conference is going well. Better than I anticipated, actually. That's usually the way things go, though, isn't it? We work things up with so much worry and anticipation that the actual moment seems to pale in comparison. I've been going to a lot of great seminars (and one that i must admit was...how you say.. not so good to the point i got some more reading done in my book. i'm so ashamed.) The main speaker is Brian Habig, author of "The Enduring Community" and former RUF Campus Minister at Vandy. He's done a great job, i think. You can download the podcast for free here http://www.ruf.org/messages/messages.htm

I've basically just been compiling a long list of things i'll have to process through when i get home. As soon as I begin to think through one thing, another seminar will provide me with yet another list of things equally as great, profound and confusing. I'm thinking a lot tonight about the life of a cynic; about being cynical in general. I realize to what great extents I give preference to my (or others') cynical nature over the naive nature of someone else. What a great prideful wall from which I hope to fall someday. There's so much to think through about what makes us cynical and, what seems currently daunting, how one even begins to stave off cynicism. It's so hard to appropriate one's knowledge of God. The Christian too often knows what to do, but has neither the courage nor the desire to put our theology into action.

A rather backhanded "truth to action" learned this week has been in relation to music. I'm down here getting to help out with some accordion and mandolin in worship. Recently moving from playing these things every other/every day to now playing when i remember or someone asks me to play has taken its toll. Which brings me to my learned truth moving me to action. Col. 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.
I do this poorly. That's ok. It's been done perfectly on my behalf, but this moves me to want to do what I do well. I don't know if it's really necessary to flesh all that out here, this may be abit open-ended or vauge, but... i'm ok with that.

I've really been loving being on the beach/in the water, catching up on a lot of reading, getting to know new people and listening to all the great teaching, but I'm looking very forward to coming home, seeing my sweet puppy who i miss very much and seeing/talking to friends who i also miss with my heart. I'll be home soon.

but he just took polaroids...

when the day seems long

It's been a busy day. Work this morning, then Sarah and I shot a wedding, and finally a group of us played trivial pursuit and went out for shakes at sonic. fun times. I'm surprisingly not tired, though. I think I might actually read a bit before I go to bed. I'm in a weird place in "Jayber Crowe" (yes, i'm still finishing it) where I know I will finish it while I'm out of town, so I have to take a second book to start. I miss traveling a lot. It's one of my favorite times to read. Actually, I've REALLY been missing traveling lately. I'm really coveting Whit's life at the moment. (Whit is currently playing guitar, touring with Plumb and is maybe one of two people who read this. Hey Whit! ;) ) It's weird because I've had days lately of feeling really satisfied and excited about things that are happening or could be happening. Maybe that's it... the looking forward. They haven't happened yet, but they could...and that's what gets me every time. I remain in a posture lately that is at best anticipatory. I like what I'm doing, I just.... well, i just want to be on the road playing music, really...music I believe in with people I love. That sounds like a tall order. I miss playing in a band and creating something greater than yourself, about getting behind something you believe in...there's something indescribable about it. so, i'll stop trying to do so now. I think that's a big part of it for me. There are things I really love and believe in that I really want to happen...or succeed...or whatever you call it. And if I can help that happen in any way, I get crazy excited. I have a feeling none of this will make much sense to anyone else, but, so it goes. The whole thing seems silly if I step back and think about it. I should be grateful for what I have been given, which is much. And yet... the longing remains.

I'm heading out of town for a while next week. I leave for Dallas, Texas on the 11th for Shea and Catherine's wedding, then arrive back in Nashville for a few hours before leaving for Florida for RUF Summer Conference. Aaaanyway. The trips will be fun, I'm sure, but it's making these last few days I have in town crazy. My looking forward to the trip does includes getting to spend some quality time and to better know some RUF friends, but I must confess many of the things I'm looking forward to involve my leper-like social skills. Environments like that often create in me a desire to spend a great deal of time alone. Not so much out of annoyance of others or anything, I just like it. I'm sure there's more to it than that, though. But, I trust that the very struggles that keep me from intimacy are the very best places for intimacy to happen. I trust in all my unrest and longing that God is committed to my good, though I am not. I have traded one idol for another. I have deemed solitude worthy because I enjoy it sometimes, not because I long to process through things I should or meditate on truths to bring me back to sanity. I have filled days with company and evaded real community. Marva Dawn says "If we find out what true community costs, we often don't want to pay it." Basil Pennington said, “The rigorous demands of true friendship…the gift of one’s self, one’s time, one’s preferences (that's so great and telling), the nakedness and honesty, are beyond the price most are willing to pay. But those who have not experienced it, don’t know what is purchased by such a price. Anyone who has been graced with true friendship, though, knows how it is worth it." But do we have that kind of true friendship? Gosh, I'm helplessly thankful that anything I encounter or invent that keeps me from being who I was made to be... that keeps me from "getting it right" has been conquered. I must continue to tell myself that even in my unbelief. Oh, that we might find brothers and sisters that would be committed to our good than our favor. Oh that we might be made into those same people.

good night, friends.
i love you all.



p.s. go listen to sandra's "Rock of Ages (When The Day Seems Long)"...it came on during the beginning of this blog and five plays later, it's still on repeat. I don't think I'll ever not want to hear that song.
http://www.igracemusic.com/sandrahymns/index.htm

The Tailenders and other adventures from the Nashville Film Festival

Well, it seems like a long time has passed since this weekend, but I'll try to recount the events with as much accuracy as possible. This past weekend was the Nashville Film Festival. A friend of mine had a laminate pass, but was going to be gone all weekend. He graciously gave me his (thanks HK). It was as if someone had given me a free pass to six flags (and Lord knows I love me some amusement parks). I went to see so many movies. I would have seen more had my schedule permitted, but i still saw a glorious bounty of film. Including:

Fourteen - a film short with no dialogue about a fourteen year old's Mormon wedding day to a 58 year old man.

For the Love of Dolly -A journey into the hearts and homes of Dolly Parton's most devoted fans, held together by the shared love for their icon and a need to be close to her.... it was unbelievable.

In a Nutshell: A Portrait of Elizabeth Tashjian -A well-salted look at eccentric nut collector and former curator of the Nut Museum and the town's efforts to close it.

Danielson: A Family Movie - A music-filled look at Daniel Smith, eccentric Christian musician, as he leads his four siblings to indie-rock stardom, launching the career of Sufjan Stevens along the way.

Party for the People - short film creatively explored the links between communism and rock n' roll.

Chances: The Women of Magdalene - A truly inspirational story about a group of women who know Dickerson Pike all too well; and maverick Becca Stevens, who creates a program to help them recover. [*featuring a cameo by our own Emily DeLoach singing in the Kim Carnes all-star choir brigade!!]

Aurora Borealis - Joshua Jackson, Juliette Lewis, Donald Sutherland and Louise Fletcher star in this tender comedy-drama about bright, charming yet irresponsible Duncan (Jackson) whose need to care for his ailing grandfather (Sutherland) leads him to a brighter future-a future perhaps greatly aided by falling in love with his grandfather's nurse



Tailenders - my absolute favorite movie of the festival. A fascinating look at the 67-year history of Gospel Recordings, a company devoted to reaching out to the last few societies in the world as yet untapped by Christian missionaries. It was remarkable. I'm still thinking through it. If I had it in my possession, I would be watching it over and over again. I hope to be doing this as soon as it's in my little paws. There was so many great things about sound and the disembodied voice and how when these people in the Solomon Islands are played this voice booming through a box they've never seen before, the voice has so much more authority than any one person ever could. But, they're not just buying the story when the sign on to what the missionaries bring, they're signing on to the technology they bring as well as the wealth they see others gaining...aaah... i could go on forever. Adele Horne, the filmmaker, sat in front of me during the screening. This was a little unnerving as I ebbed and flowed in and out of being really conscious of my audible reactions to things. As all of the filmmakers who were at the festival did, Adele stuck around for Q&A after the showing. I actually asked a few questions. Afterwards, she came back up to get her stuff (which was sitting beside my seat) and we got to chat a little. Throughout the film festival I think I ran into her and what some might called "mildly stalked" her. Not really, but I did love talking to her and think she has created a phenomenal film. She said she's working on a new one about peripheral vision. I can't wait. You all must see this film. It's airing on PBS on July 25th www.pbs.org/pov/tailenders/
Read more about this film and the filmmaker here... http://www.adelehorne.net/Page02.htm

this is no place for a house.

So, I after rehearsal and a quick waffle house stop, LT and I watched "Proof". I thought it was excellent. Thumbs up. But that's a different story. So, I begin driving home at circa 2:15am, after just watching a movie involving questioning one's grip on reality. As I fly down Woodmont, I suddenly crest the hill and see a two story home spanning both lanes of the road. For a moment, I cannot decide if I'm crazy crazy or just crazy. I then see the wheels beneath and the truck behind and men with flashlights. One man is sitting on the roof, lifting the stoplights so that the roof can pass under them. After waiting a considerable amount of time, i decide to try and find my way around. This is probably the 5th time this has happened to me. Is this really that common? It's just weird and can freak the crap out of you at 2:30 in the morning. I'm just sayin.

just a quick break

It's only 10pm and i'm about to fall asleep. i'm such a wuss. We worked on Dawson's art all day today. seriously. 10am - 6pm. but, it's pretty much done and it was a really fun day. just a bit of editing and a quick proofread and it's off.

Can I just say how much I love noiseland? It's really rare that you find a cd manufacturing company that you love. I think I've found one. Now that I've convinced Dawson to use them, this will be 3 records I've worked with them on and I still love them. It just baffles the mind. If any of you are in the market for such a service, check them out. they're a delight. www.noiseland.com


So, Rachel and I are working on starting a print company. One that will design and print tshirts and posters.... really bitchin ones. "wires and fires" Next week we decide on a logo. Fun times. Know anyone who needs the aforementioned products? holla.

I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight. I'm heading home for Easter on Friday. It makes this week a bit more stressful, but it will be good to see the fam and sit on the deck. sigh. i'm already excited. I just love to be outside. If I can spend as much time outside as possible, that would be greeeat. I wish I could see the display on my computer better in my backyard. maybe i should get those big shield things. hmmm.

danny masterson is an attractive, attractive man. i'm not one for the celebrity crush, but he's playing on celebrity poker right now and.... i'm just sayin. we should date.

alright. i've seriously got to get back to work. until next time, loves...

way over yonder in a minor key

Gosh, I don't want to work today. I've been so busy lately, I start to feel like I should just get in the car and take a vacation... or at least have a movie marathon with friends who have equally unstructured jobs. I'll take either at this point. A vacation does sound totally sweet, though. I also feel like i have no room to complain. I love my job(s). I do. very much. sooo, maybe i should just suck it up and remember that. done and done.

I always wonder what people listen to on their ipods. there's a myriad of ages and people types at the Y all donning earphones. What gets them through that 30min stairclimb? who knows. Questions for heaven. I've thought about an invention that shows what you're listening to in a thought bubble sort of thing like the thing over the SIMS heads. You could turn it off and on, of course. Until I get a prototype running, we'll just have to wonder.

I realized lately that I have very specific things I listen to in specific situations. By this I mean, if I'm going to clean or mow the lawn, I have a playlist that usually does right by me. This playlist always includes Bonnie Raitt's "Nick of Time".
When my dad would let me mow the lawn, I would take my walkman cassette player and headphones and listen to that record over and over. When I finally got the CD, I would always hear a break where the tape should be flipped. It so fun to know a record so well that you know the keys of all the songs based on the end of the song before it. fun/really nerdy.

For cooking, it has to be old soul stuff, motown, or blues. Ray Charles. mmmm.
Outside on a warm night with friends... it's crazy old jazz records.
Working out.... i mix this one up. radiohead's "ideoteque" is great. but, sometimes i really dig running to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. There's something about it when "Radio Cure" comes on. Everything around you is moving so quickly, but it makes things feel like a movie somehow... like you're not there. You know that scene in Garden State in the very beginning when he's on the plane in slow motion and everyone's freaking out and he's just staring? Yeah. Like that.

I've been playing guitar lately for this kid... www.myspace.com/dawsonwells I dig his stuff. It's so so fun. It makes me remember how much I love playing...especially in a band with friends. It's made me really long to do it more. sigh.
"it'll all work out"

If you wanna go somewhere... if you wanna be somebody...

I think i need a night in. I've been running around like crazy all day. but at 8pm, you have to wonder if a nap is really in the cards. "Sister Act II : Back in the Habit" just came on. What a blessing. How is it that I've seen both "Sister Act" and it's equally stunning sequal so many times? seriously. how did that happen? But then again, how could you hate on Lauryn Hill? You can't.