So, my friends David and Natalie are moving to New York. Tonight, a party was thrown to "send them off". It started enjoyably enough. Great food. Great drink (Homeade Sangria). Everyone chatting. I arrived fashionably late at about 8:45pm. Now, back at my own homestead, i see it is now 2:55am. The moral of the evening: Dancing brings the world together. Both Natalie and David have mean dancing streaks in them. So, as the partygoers thinned, the few that stood the test of time were handsomely rewarded with the blessing of the dance party. Around 10 or 11, Nat busted out the dance mix she had prepared on her ipod. It was a mix so totally bitching that I literally took notes on a postcard to download those songs when i got home. As my throbbing feet and calves (yes. i kept the high heels on through the whole dance party.) clearly understand, I've been dancing...and i mean DANCING for about 4 hours. At one point, about 8 or 10 women and usually about 1 guy (this was almost always David or Dawson) were giving their all on that floor. We even went Soul Train style for 3 or 4 songs; coining such dances as "The Blazer", "The Cowboy", a few indescribable moves Butterfly pulled out and "The Scarf". After cutting a rug with the same group for 4 hours, you have a certain unspoken bond. Strangers become friends on the dance floor, folks. It's true. I loved that at the end of the dance marathon, I introduced myself (or was introduced to) at least half of the same people I had been sweating to the oldies with for the entire night.
To hell with introductions. We have dancing shoes.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
I'm "into" books.
I’ve been listening to a book on tape. I’m normally not a fan. I just love reading books and lose a great deal when I listen to them read over an extended period of time. I lose track of where I am, get thinking about other things. I just don’t daydream as much if I’m looking at words on a page. ANYWAY. My mother is in a book club. It mainly consists of English profs at Murray State, Librarians and a few teachers. I tagged along in high school with my mom and would always really look forward to the meetings. They always have a Christmas meeting and usually at our house in Kentucky. I’ve had the great fortune of being home for these meetings two years in a row. On the drive home today, I had planned my listening schedule so that I would finish the book just as I exited off of I-24. I was thoroughly engrossed in the book, (which I just realized I’ve yet to reveal…. It’s called “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter”) and indeed finished just in time before the book club arrived to the house. However, during pre-dinner banter, I realized that I had not, as I previously thought, finshed the book at all. Rather, there were 9 discs instead of the 5 I had once thought. Something for the trip home, I suppose.
I’m actually reading two other books right now as well. I’ve never done this (excluding being forced to read at an exorbant pace in college). But, I’m listening to Barbara Kingsolver’s “The Bean Trees” and reading Wendell Berry’s “Hannah Coulter”. Wow. Three Kentucky authors. Three pieces of fiction. So much for the spice of life.
I’m actually reading two other books right now as well. I’ve never done this (excluding being forced to read at an exorbant pace in college). But, I’m listening to Barbara Kingsolver’s “The Bean Trees” and reading Wendell Berry’s “Hannah Coulter”. Wow. Three Kentucky authors. Three pieces of fiction. So much for the spice of life.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
the clarinet goes dood lee dood lee dood lee dood lee det.
If anybody's wondering what to get me for Christmas.... here's a start....
Friday, November 17, 2006
Tell me honey, what is it we do?
Bush is giving a press conference on TV as I type. I can't help but be reminded of Jonatha Brooke's "Christmas wish list" I read today that she did for Blender.com
So, I had to make a call today. A kind of important call...as calls that I make go. So, I prepped. I made sure I had all my notes there, a working pen and notebook, I used my Nettie Pot so I could get the passages open and get the most direct path for oxygen to the brain going. I made sure the phone was charged, pulled up relevant emails and websites to have in front of me and I was ready. I made the call. As with most things, it wasn't that big of a deal and more went into worrying/prepping than the actual conversation. But halfway through the conversation I looked down and thought, "I wonder if this guy realizes that I'm in pajamas with blue moose on them...or what he would think if he did have such information." Ah the habits of the self-employed. As I hung up the phone, the thought occurred to me that through the entire conversation, I was using the business voice. You know, a little too quick to the nervous laugh, overly cheery and above all, the moderately obnoxious over-annunciation. But as soon as I got off the phone, I thought how I wish I spoke like that a bit more to my friends on the phone. I mumble. I know it. As soon as I get off the phone with a few people in particular, I have that "I left the stove on" moment of remembering..."Shit. I forgot not to mumble!". One day. Don't give up hope, friends.
Speaking of being self-employed, I had a shoot with David Phelps and his band today at a rehearsal space here in town called Soundcheck. (I'll post some on the flickr site tomorrow) I got there on time which means I got to hear 3-4 songs as they were running late. (who would have guessed?) But, it was a fun time all around. Everyone was very kind and the actual taking of the pictures went fairly flawlessly, but you never know if it's what they want. Especially when there are many many parties to please. When I first pulled up today, an older gentleman who was pulling out of the space near the door rolled down his window and asked, "What are their names?" I realized then that he had seen me pull in with Levi & Scout in the backseat. We talked about dogs for a minute and he reaches into his glove box and extracts two large bones he explains that he regularly gets from a local BBQ joint and would like to give these two specimens to my pups. It was very sweet, but I then realize I'm walking into Soundcheck with two big ham bones. I shoved them in my purse and kept trucking.
There's something about tours like that coming together where a lot of the crew doesn't know each other that everyone feels the need to tell stories. It's very funny and usually entertaining. One of today's gems was told by a boisterous Brit who explained how his (insert generic relative here) was once in a Christmas pageant playing the Inn keeper. When Mary and Joseph approached the Inn keeper and asked if they might have room for them in the Inn. Silence. No response. Joseph asks again, "I'm Joseph. This is my wife Mary. She's with child and in need of a room. Would you have room for us?" Still, the Inn Keeper did not respond and finally mumbled under his breath, "I can't remember my line." Joseph finally mumbled back, "Just say something!". So, in a loud voice, the Inn Keeper proclaims, "Sure! We've got tons of room! Come on in!" bah dum dum.
Currently Listening to:
Lovers Electric - "Lovers Electric" -
This is my friend Butterfly's sister and brother-in-law's (David & Eden) band. I can't stop listening to their record and listen to the single, "Honey" more than is normal. Check out the totally sweet video here.
So, I had to make a call today. A kind of important call...as calls that I make go. So, I prepped. I made sure I had all my notes there, a working pen and notebook, I used my Nettie Pot so I could get the passages open and get the most direct path for oxygen to the brain going. I made sure the phone was charged, pulled up relevant emails and websites to have in front of me and I was ready. I made the call. As with most things, it wasn't that big of a deal and more went into worrying/prepping than the actual conversation. But halfway through the conversation I looked down and thought, "I wonder if this guy realizes that I'm in pajamas with blue moose on them...or what he would think if he did have such information." Ah the habits of the self-employed. As I hung up the phone, the thought occurred to me that through the entire conversation, I was using the business voice. You know, a little too quick to the nervous laugh, overly cheery and above all, the moderately obnoxious over-annunciation. But as soon as I got off the phone, I thought how I wish I spoke like that a bit more to my friends on the phone. I mumble. I know it. As soon as I get off the phone with a few people in particular, I have that "I left the stove on" moment of remembering..."Shit. I forgot not to mumble!". One day. Don't give up hope, friends.
Speaking of being self-employed, I had a shoot with David Phelps and his band today at a rehearsal space here in town called Soundcheck. (I'll post some on the flickr site tomorrow) I got there on time which means I got to hear 3-4 songs as they were running late. (who would have guessed?) But, it was a fun time all around. Everyone was very kind and the actual taking of the pictures went fairly flawlessly, but you never know if it's what they want. Especially when there are many many parties to please. When I first pulled up today, an older gentleman who was pulling out of the space near the door rolled down his window and asked, "What are their names?" I realized then that he had seen me pull in with Levi & Scout in the backseat. We talked about dogs for a minute and he reaches into his glove box and extracts two large bones he explains that he regularly gets from a local BBQ joint and would like to give these two specimens to my pups. It was very sweet, but I then realize I'm walking into Soundcheck with two big ham bones. I shoved them in my purse and kept trucking.
There's something about tours like that coming together where a lot of the crew doesn't know each other that everyone feels the need to tell stories. It's very funny and usually entertaining. One of today's gems was told by a boisterous Brit who explained how his (insert generic relative here) was once in a Christmas pageant playing the Inn keeper. When Mary and Joseph approached the Inn keeper and asked if they might have room for them in the Inn. Silence. No response. Joseph asks again, "I'm Joseph. This is my wife Mary. She's with child and in need of a room. Would you have room for us?" Still, the Inn Keeper did not respond and finally mumbled under his breath, "I can't remember my line." Joseph finally mumbled back, "Just say something!". So, in a loud voice, the Inn Keeper proclaims, "Sure! We've got tons of room! Come on in!" bah dum dum.
Currently Listening to:
Lovers Electric - "Lovers Electric" -
This is my friend Butterfly's sister and brother-in-law's (David & Eden) band. I can't stop listening to their record and listen to the single, "Honey" more than is normal. Check out the totally sweet video here.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
crisp autumn day. leaves are in full turn and it's gorgeous to watch. slept in a bit after the scary movie marathon with bob and peter last night. We watched the beginning of Hostel until Bob asked that we...not. Oh, those squeemish boys. I did forget how vulgar the beginning of that movie is, though. sheesh. grabbed some thai with derek then went to see judd & maggie at 12th and Porter with Andy Davis and Peter Bradley Adams. I really enjoyed J&M's set. Sometimes I forget what people do for a living...especially friends who play music for a living b/c I don't often get to see them at work. But every time I do it's almost always wonderful and complex.
if i keep saving drafts of blogs hoping to finish them, i'll never blog.
if i keep saving drafts of blogs hoping to finish them, i'll never blog.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
thoughts on this day
I usually buy a book of poetry of some sort when I travel. This trip has yielded six thus far, but four were from goodwill. I'm taking a gimme.
I finally finished "Tell We Have Faces". It was beautiful. I'm still soaking in it. The next day, I began my first attempt at Proust; "A Remembrance of Things Past: Swan's Way" to be specific. On a break, thumbing through my new poetry collection, I read "A Bookmark" by Tom Disch. He writes, "Four years ago, I started reading Proust. Although I'm past the halfway point, I still have seven hundred pages of reduced type left before I reach the end...Four years ago, by God! - and even then how I was looking forward to the day I would be able to forgive, at last, and to forget "Remembrance of Things Past." Hmm. This may be a sign.
I love traveling and long to do it more often. I love being able to schluff obligations and deadlines and... everything. Even if just for the afternoon...just for a week. We need breaks. Even from things we love. Should an independently wealthy investor want to fund my...how you say....life studies. I should keep a house in Nashville and another in Ireland. Or Scotland.... for many reasons. ...and because there's always the anticipation of the change, the chance that what is wrong is the result of where you are.
I finally finished "Tell We Have Faces". It was beautiful. I'm still soaking in it. The next day, I began my first attempt at Proust; "A Remembrance of Things Past: Swan's Way" to be specific. On a break, thumbing through my new poetry collection, I read "A Bookmark" by Tom Disch. He writes, "Four years ago, I started reading Proust. Although I'm past the halfway point, I still have seven hundred pages of reduced type left before I reach the end...Four years ago, by God! - and even then how I was looking forward to the day I would be able to forgive, at last, and to forget "Remembrance of Things Past." Hmm. This may be a sign.
I love traveling and long to do it more often. I love being able to schluff obligations and deadlines and... everything. Even if just for the afternoon...just for a week. We need breaks. Even from things we love. Should an independently wealthy investor want to fund my...how you say....life studies. I should keep a house in Nashville and another in Ireland. Or Scotland.... for many reasons. ...and because there's always the anticipation of the change, the chance that what is wrong is the result of where you are.
Thursday, October 05, 2006
just like him
Thursday night before the Indigo Girls show at the Ryman, Derek and I waited out front talking a bit with Mary Gauthier about the Sufjan Stevens show we'd seen just a week or so before. She quickly and adamantly said she couldn't accept... or "get" Sufan's song "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." Suggesting Stevens just went too far. And I totally get that. In a moment of moxie, I said that while I can completely see the irreverence of it, it's the last stanza that makes the story worth the telling. Tonight I remember why. I read a little wikipedia on John Wayne Gacy and might just have nightmares about clowns tonight. They were not previously a phobia, but that may have just changed. Gacy did some heinous things to over 30 boys whom he later buried under his house or threw in the river when he ran out of room there.
Sufjan tells his story this way:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God
Are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth
And then there's the final stanza.....
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid
I understand that it's hard to believe we are capable of such horrible things, but I think to be able to say "I would never be capable of anything like that", brings with it ideas of labeling certain people(s) "bad". This necessarily means that you must be "good" or have within you enough good to be able to control or overcome the bad. ...In my experience, my ability to control such...um...how you say... sucks.
All I know is, I have a hard, hard heart. I can so easily betray what I know to be true for irrational reactions in anger, fear or hurt. Cold is my warmest thought.
I love so poorly.
....and yet God is a God committed relentlessly loving his rebel children.
love,
jordan
"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness." - c.s. lewis
Sufjan tells his story this way:
His father was a drinker
And his mother cried in bed
Folding John Wayne's T-shirts
When the swingset hit his head
The neighbors they adored him
For his humor and his conversation
Look underneath the house there
Find the few living things
Rotting fast in their sleep of the dead
Twenty-seven people, even more
They were boys with their cars, summer jobs
Oh my God
Are you one of them?
He dressed up like a clown for them
With his face paint white and red
And on his best behavior
In a dark room on the bed he kissed them all
He'd kill ten thousand people
With a sleight of his hand
Running far, running fast to the dead
He took of all their clothes for them
He put a cloth on their lips
Quiet hands, quiet kiss
On the mouth
And then there's the final stanza.....
And in my best behavior
I am really just like him
Look beneath the floorboards
For the secrets I have hid
I understand that it's hard to believe we are capable of such horrible things, but I think to be able to say "I would never be capable of anything like that", brings with it ideas of labeling certain people(s) "bad". This necessarily means that you must be "good" or have within you enough good to be able to control or overcome the bad. ...In my experience, my ability to control such...um...how you say... sucks.
All I know is, I have a hard, hard heart. I can so easily betray what I know to be true for irrational reactions in anger, fear or hurt. Cold is my warmest thought.
I love so poorly.
....and yet God is a God committed relentlessly loving his rebel children.
love,
jordan
"Love is something more stern and splendid than mere kindness." - c.s. lewis
Friday, September 01, 2006
Free Derek Webb
My friend Derek is giving away his record, "Mockingbird" for free. Go to www.freederekwebb.com and you can download his entire record for free. Seriously. Free. It's such a good record too. Tell all your friends. and your friends' friends. Go.. now.
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
smile like you mean it.
i've noticed something about myself lately. this can often be an unsettling thing...like realizing your fly's unzipped. you wonder how long it's been like that and why no one has told you before. So, anyway, I've noticed lately this distance i keep with people i care about. I feel like I'm not usually quick to say I care about them or I miss them or whatever the case may be. I remember Judy was always good at that. I even remember at her funeral being overwhelmed with the desire to carry on these characteristics I so loved in her. But, I'm so bad at it. I could say it comes with age, but I think that's probably a cop-out. I think there's a lot of fear tied to it. I've always felt it with things like that. No one wants to be that guy. well, at least part of me is always scared that i am, i think. It's so good for me to be around people who say those things when they mean them. just hearing them gives me courage to want to do the same, and reminds me that life's too short not to.
love deep.
love well.
love deep.
love well.
Monday, August 21, 2006
we'll go down to the water's edge...
Life has been so full lately. I mean that in so many ways. The most obvious of late being that my hours seem to be filled up with things I have to do or places I have to be at all times. The blogging phenomenon usually happens when i'm forced to stop for a second by an outside force. This is where our story begins. Ok, it's not really a story at all. But, I'm somewhere...um... Cedar Hill, TN? I dunno. I could have just made that up. But, the RUF core group retreat is here this year. I know. I'm not in college. Get off me. A friend and supporter of Kevin and RUF owns this unbelievable houseboat on which we are now staying. It really is like a house.. but nicer than mine. i just can't believe how cool it is. jacuzzi. slide. huge grill, bar, tv, wireless internet, sleeps 15. I'm in one of 4 bedrooms I think. It's just crazy.
Now, I can't say for sure, but I don't forsee myself or anyone I may one day marry being able to afford anything like this...ever. So, I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. :) We took the ski boat out this afternoon. I tubed and got flipped off the back and then I drove the ski boat for a while and Robert skied. It was sooo fun. I miss driving boats and just being on the water in general. I think I could live on the water for a while. I'm just sayin.
well, it's 2am and i can't imagine that the person sleeping a few feet away wants to hear me type any longer than i already have, so i'm off to the land of wink and nod. night, kids.
Now, I can't say for sure, but I don't forsee myself or anyone I may one day marry being able to afford anything like this...ever. So, I'm trying to enjoy it while I can. :) We took the ski boat out this afternoon. I tubed and got flipped off the back and then I drove the ski boat for a while and Robert skied. It was sooo fun. I miss driving boats and just being on the water in general. I think I could live on the water for a while. I'm just sayin.
well, it's 2am and i can't imagine that the person sleeping a few feet away wants to hear me type any longer than i already have, so i'm off to the land of wink and nod. night, kids.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
it's still rock n' roll to me
We played a really late show last night in town. Our smallest crowd yet, but it was a really fun night none-the-less. i turned off the alarm before i went to bed last night, so i actually slept in a bit. sandra came over and we went to home depot and the expo center. no finds on this trip, but i did get some potting soil and lawn feed. came home and finished editing the last batch of photos and uploaded them. man. what a load off. i started doing some yard work, took a break and made some tasty salmon for lunch. then hit the yard again. i've let it get so unruly that it's really satisfying to get it back under control. i'm not completely done yet, but i've gotten quite a bit done today. talked with the rents for a while. i was trying to walk them through a few computer things and i got really frustrated. I wish I didn't get so frustrated with things like that. abrupt tashian style ending HERE.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
she's a dancin' machine.
just got in from a late night. but, it's been a good day. got up and got some things done then roped derek and sandra into coming to target to get things for the 2,309,858 showers that are happening this month. One of which was today. We went to the shower, but left early b/c none of us had eaten. We went to Mediteranian Cuisine and it was delicious. it hit the spot. came back to the webb casa and walked the dogs. went to pick up butterfly and we went to an art opening at the gallery where dawson works downtown. Some of the stuff was really cool. Most of the photographs make me wonder how they got in there and why I can't be in there too. (that sounded really bratty) After that, we headed to The Alley Cat. We met up with Kiki, Allison, Bob, Michelle and Co. Allison actually brought Trivial Pursuit in her handbag and we ended up playing an entire game on the patio at the bar. It was delightful and of course, we won. :) Natlie and David came out after dinner and LT rolled in late as well. Thus began the dance party. I think Natalie needs her own reality show. or at least video podcast. i'm just sayin.
Derek and Sandra are leaving for L.A. tomorrow, so I get to hang out with Levi this week. This means I'll need to get up early and go get the little ball of preciousness, so I must go to bed. Oh, and as promised... pictures from Dawson's Taco Extravaganza....oh... and hell yes, I made those cakes. :)
trying to make scout join in the fun. she would not have it.
and we lit our hands on fire.
TACO!!!!!
Derek and Sandra are leaving for L.A. tomorrow, so I get to hang out with Levi this week. This means I'll need to get up early and go get the little ball of preciousness, so I must go to bed. Oh, and as promised... pictures from Dawson's Taco Extravaganza....oh... and hell yes, I made those cakes. :)
trying to make scout join in the fun. she would not have it.
and we lit our hands on fire.
TACO!!!!!
Friday, July 07, 2006
I need a camera to my eye
Had a nice low-key night last night. I went to Dawson's and we taped some footage for the video podcasts we're going to start doing. After we finished, I roped him into coming with me to Katy Bowser-Hutson's CD Release party. We got there a little late, but I'm glad we made it. Everything sounded great and it was really great to see everyone. Kelly & David Richter were there in town from St.Louis and Derek and Sandra were back from their travels. I was really happy to see everyone. Afterwards, we called LT with intentions of meeting up with that crew, but we both didn't want to go to a smoky bar, so we went to Kroger and bought groceries. Funny alternative.
It was still pretty early, so I called Bob and ended up going over to his and Peter Noble and Amy and Ben's house. We ended up talking for a few hours and then Peter showed me the room he built in the basement where he lives. Peter's family makes these amazing cameras called Noblex that have a rotating slit to expose the 120 film it uses creating these amazing panoramic images.
He had a couple there and a couple more 35mm versions. It was unbelievably fun to get to play with them. I was so excited about it, then he said, "Oh. I have to show you my other camera." Then he pulls out a Hasselblad. I couldn't believe it. Then he told me that he got it from Bob's uncle who inherited two and was going to sell them for $250. I just can't get over it. But, Peter said I can borrow them sometime. I'm already excited. :)
I have to clean again today. We're having another birthday party for Dawson. The first one had to be moved inside b/c it rained. But, this one is going to be an outside fiesta. Butterfly's making a bunch of tacos and I'm baking two cakes (pictures to come). Also, my mom's coming in town to go to the doctor and I have to clean the house to show her friend Pam.
Last night at the Radio Cafe, we talked about blogging Daniel Tashian style. In retrospect, it's hard to stop blogging like that in a way. It's like reading a book. When you read that writer everyday, it effects your syntax and style in writing and thought. Funny.
It was still pretty early, so I called Bob and ended up going over to his and Peter Noble and Amy and Ben's house. We ended up talking for a few hours and then Peter showed me the room he built in the basement where he lives. Peter's family makes these amazing cameras called Noblex that have a rotating slit to expose the 120 film it uses creating these amazing panoramic images.
He had a couple there and a couple more 35mm versions. It was unbelievably fun to get to play with them. I was so excited about it, then he said, "Oh. I have to show you my other camera." Then he pulls out a Hasselblad. I couldn't believe it. Then he told me that he got it from Bob's uncle who inherited two and was going to sell them for $250. I just can't get over it. But, Peter said I can borrow them sometime. I'm already excited. :)
I have to clean again today. We're having another birthday party for Dawson. The first one had to be moved inside b/c it rained. But, this one is going to be an outside fiesta. Butterfly's making a bunch of tacos and I'm baking two cakes (pictures to come). Also, my mom's coming in town to go to the doctor and I have to clean the house to show her friend Pam.
Last night at the Radio Cafe, we talked about blogging Daniel Tashian style. In retrospect, it's hard to stop blogging like that in a way. It's like reading a book. When you read that writer everyday, it effects your syntax and style in writing and thought. Funny.
Monday, July 03, 2006
things i typed today in my blog
a lot of times i get bogged down with the idea of doing things... to the point that i don't do them, b/c i don't want to half-ass things. but, i really just end up waiting so long that i have to hurry and do it, so that happens anyway. i do this with blogging as well. i had a really bad falling/crashing sort of experience on the Harpeth river on Saturday. It could have been a lot worse, though. Everything is really bruised and I have a lot of ugly scrapes and cuts everywhere, but i still have the use of my limbs and such. which i'm excited about. so, anyway. i'll tell more about that later. but, no kidding... it hurts to type.
i've really loved reading daniel tashian's blog lately. it's unreal. he just lists everything he does or thinks that day. almost to an uncomfortable level. but, i dig reading it. i especially love when he a) lists the price of meal, haircut or item that was purchased that day and b) that he lists the last name of everyone in his blog... even his really good friends that are in almost every blog. somehow this really amuses me...every time.
i might steal that. it would probably just sound pretentious coming from me, though. crappers.
things i've done lately:
-saw superman ($11) at the IMAX on opening night in 3D with Laura Taylor, Charrisa Imaken, Robert Stowers, Robert "Bob" Wilson, Butterfly Boucher and Dawson Wells. (how's that? :) ) It was the first feature film in 3D (well, four scenes of it). It was so fun. there were people dressed up and everything. i felt like i was at an amusement park or something. here are some fun pictures.
It had been a long time since i had been to opry mills. the next day, though butterfly and i went back and i bought black and white chucks. i think i'm going to wear them tonight at the show at mercy lounge. we're playing 8 off 8th. i didn't know who was playing until today, and it's funny how many of them are friends. most of the times i've been, i haven't heard of most of the people playing.
oh. i forgot i'm listing things.
--made action figure dolls with the band. we're going to do some video podcasts. I'm so excited. i love making videos. We bought barbies/ken dolls and cut and colored their hair to make them look like each member of the band. who does this? i mean really. we're weird.
-took my first trip to bobbie's dairy dip with Rachel Briggs and Laura Taylor (stiiiiill funny to list names). it was good. but, i was sad that i was too full to get a dipped cone.. even if it was at bobbie's dairy DIP.
it's getting late. i need to shower before i meet the other kids to load in. i think this blog has been stream of conciousness enough to make daniel tashian AND james joyce proud. talk soon.
i've really loved reading daniel tashian's blog lately. it's unreal. he just lists everything he does or thinks that day. almost to an uncomfortable level. but, i dig reading it. i especially love when he a) lists the price of meal, haircut or item that was purchased that day and b) that he lists the last name of everyone in his blog... even his really good friends that are in almost every blog. somehow this really amuses me...every time.
i might steal that. it would probably just sound pretentious coming from me, though. crappers.
things i've done lately:
-saw superman ($11) at the IMAX on opening night in 3D with Laura Taylor, Charrisa Imaken, Robert Stowers, Robert "Bob" Wilson, Butterfly Boucher and Dawson Wells. (how's that? :) ) It was the first feature film in 3D (well, four scenes of it). It was so fun. there were people dressed up and everything. i felt like i was at an amusement park or something. here are some fun pictures.
It had been a long time since i had been to opry mills. the next day, though butterfly and i went back and i bought black and white chucks. i think i'm going to wear them tonight at the show at mercy lounge. we're playing 8 off 8th. i didn't know who was playing until today, and it's funny how many of them are friends. most of the times i've been, i haven't heard of most of the people playing.
oh. i forgot i'm listing things.
--made action figure dolls with the band. we're going to do some video podcasts. I'm so excited. i love making videos. We bought barbies/ken dolls and cut and colored their hair to make them look like each member of the band. who does this? i mean really. we're weird.
-took my first trip to bobbie's dairy dip with Rachel Briggs and Laura Taylor (stiiiiill funny to list names). it was good. but, i was sad that i was too full to get a dipped cone.. even if it was at bobbie's dairy DIP.
it's getting late. i need to shower before i meet the other kids to load in. i think this blog has been stream of conciousness enough to make daniel tashian AND james joyce proud. talk soon.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
the sun shines bright on my old kentucky home
Greetings from Lexington, KY. I dig this town. I do. I can't say I have any desire to live here, really, but it's really charming and I always enjoy visiting. I'm in town rehearsing with Daniel Bailey for Icthus. I can't imagine that anyone who would read this is going, but we're playing on Thursday and Redflecks are on Sat. If such a scenario should happen. Aaaanyway. I drove up yesterday afternoon and thoroughly enjoyed the drive. I listened to a sermon I missed at CCEN that Kevin preached in Craig's absence. I had downloaded quite a few new podcasts for the trip including Garrison Keilor's "Writer's Almanac" which was excellent. Before I left, a friend gave me Madonna's "immaculate Collection". That got me through quite a ways let me say. If she wasn't Madonna, would anyone let her sing? I'm just sayin. the whole time i thought... "her voice is dreadful... I LOVE THIS SONG!" Sometimes you just can't stop the rock, ya know?
Oh weird. I'm at this coffee shop drinking some really great tea (while everyone else is at work :) ) and Bob Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" just came on. They've had some excellent music this morning (David Mead, Bob, etc.) but this selection is weirding me out a small amount b/c it's my ring on my phone. On some level, I'm ashamed that I've made Bob Dylan into a ring on my phone, but on another level I love that man and am happy every time my phone rings. So, it's a toss up, ya know?
For those of you keeping score, you will notice a new addition to the "currently reading" section. That's 3 books down in... i dunno. but I'm excited. I just finished Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies". It was lovely. She put words to many things I cannot. I will say that I loved the first half of the book much more, though. I have favorites and I have chosen them. Today I started Wendell Berry's "Citizenship Papers". I've been wanting to read this for a long time. I haven't gotten too far in it. I can tell this one is going to take some headspace. I find myself reading paragraphs multiple times to make sure I understand and remember everything.
Sometimes when you're in towns you don't frequent too often and friends live there you see just as infrequently, it can be stressful. As much as I really want to see all my friends in Lexington, I'm beginning to feel the stress of trying to book everyone in. That's not what we're looking for here. I'm learning to say no... but i have a hell of a learning curve. Well, I'm almost done with my tea. Time for lunch and bookstore rummaging. Love to you all.
Oh weird. I'm at this coffee shop drinking some really great tea (while everyone else is at work :) ) and Bob Dylan's "Like A Rolling Stone" just came on. They've had some excellent music this morning (David Mead, Bob, etc.) but this selection is weirding me out a small amount b/c it's my ring on my phone. On some level, I'm ashamed that I've made Bob Dylan into a ring on my phone, but on another level I love that man and am happy every time my phone rings. So, it's a toss up, ya know?
For those of you keeping score, you will notice a new addition to the "currently reading" section. That's 3 books down in... i dunno. but I'm excited. I just finished Anne Lamott's "Traveling Mercies". It was lovely. She put words to many things I cannot. I will say that I loved the first half of the book much more, though. I have favorites and I have chosen them. Today I started Wendell Berry's "Citizenship Papers". I've been wanting to read this for a long time. I haven't gotten too far in it. I can tell this one is going to take some headspace. I find myself reading paragraphs multiple times to make sure I understand and remember everything.
Sometimes when you're in towns you don't frequent too often and friends live there you see just as infrequently, it can be stressful. As much as I really want to see all my friends in Lexington, I'm beginning to feel the stress of trying to book everyone in. That's not what we're looking for here. I'm learning to say no... but i have a hell of a learning curve. Well, I'm almost done with my tea. Time for lunch and bookstore rummaging. Love to you all.
Thursday, May 25, 2006
an open letter to jonatha brooke
dearest jonatha,
hey j-train. how have you been? it's been a lamb's age! I knew that you read my blog a lot, so i thought this would be a good way to contact you. anyway, i was watching some videos of you on youtube today. i remembered how good you and your band are at playing music. After I finished watching the videos, i read your latest journal on your website. It sounds like things are going well. That does my heart good after the money issues with the DVD (I hope I made it in most of the footage. If not, I'll be pretty upset, but I can't stay mad at you.) I think the itunes idea is a really great one. I was also thinking about how Goffrey Moore and Gerry Leonard are two of my favorite guitarists and they both have/continue to play for you. That's pretty sweet. So, I was thinking. I know I keep turning you down to go on the road with you guys and be your random instrument kid, but I'm reconsidering. I guess we're both different people than we were then, jonatha. you know what i'm talking about. well, anyway, just give me a call. I'll be ready.
Love and gyro pockets,
jordan
hey j-train. how have you been? it's been a lamb's age! I knew that you read my blog a lot, so i thought this would be a good way to contact you. anyway, i was watching some videos of you on youtube today. i remembered how good you and your band are at playing music. After I finished watching the videos, i read your latest journal on your website. It sounds like things are going well. That does my heart good after the money issues with the DVD (I hope I made it in most of the footage. If not, I'll be pretty upset, but I can't stay mad at you.) I think the itunes idea is a really great one. I was also thinking about how Goffrey Moore and Gerry Leonard are two of my favorite guitarists and they both have/continue to play for you. That's pretty sweet. So, I was thinking. I know I keep turning you down to go on the road with you guys and be your random instrument kid, but I'm reconsidering. I guess we're both different people than we were then, jonatha. you know what i'm talking about. well, anyway, just give me a call. I'll be ready.
Love and gyro pockets,
jordan
Thursday, May 18, 2006
into the arms of florida
greetings from the sunshine state. things are well here. That said, I got a sunburn today on the backs of my legs and am currently on some meds to help me to sleep (which if you know me is remarkable...me no likey the meds that much) the conference is going well. Better than I anticipated, actually. That's usually the way things go, though, isn't it? We work things up with so much worry and anticipation that the actual moment seems to pale in comparison. I've been going to a lot of great seminars (and one that i must admit was...how you say.. not so good to the point i got some more reading done in my book. i'm so ashamed.) The main speaker is Brian Habig, author of "The Enduring Community" and former RUF Campus Minister at Vandy. He's done a great job, i think. You can download the podcast for free here http://www.ruf.org/messages/messages.htm
I've basically just been compiling a long list of things i'll have to process through when i get home. As soon as I begin to think through one thing, another seminar will provide me with yet another list of things equally as great, profound and confusing. I'm thinking a lot tonight about the life of a cynic; about being cynical in general. I realize to what great extents I give preference to my (or others') cynical nature over the naive nature of someone else. What a great prideful wall from which I hope to fall someday. There's so much to think through about what makes us cynical and, what seems currently daunting, how one even begins to stave off cynicism. It's so hard to appropriate one's knowledge of God. The Christian too often knows what to do, but has neither the courage nor the desire to put our theology into action.
A rather backhanded "truth to action" learned this week has been in relation to music. I'm down here getting to help out with some accordion and mandolin in worship. Recently moving from playing these things every other/every day to now playing when i remember or someone asks me to play has taken its toll. Which brings me to my learned truth moving me to action. Col. 3:23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men.
I do this poorly. That's ok. It's been done perfectly on my behalf, but this moves me to want to do what I do well. I don't know if it's really necessary to flesh all that out here, this may be abit open-ended or vauge, but... i'm ok with that.
I've really been loving being on the beach/in the water, catching up on a lot of reading, getting to know new people and listening to all the great teaching, but I'm looking very forward to coming home, seeing my sweet puppy who i miss very much and seeing/talking to friends who i also miss with my heart. I'll be home soon.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Saturday, May 06, 2006
when the day seems long
It's been a busy day. Work this morning, then Sarah and I shot a wedding, and finally a group of us played trivial pursuit and went out for shakes at sonic. fun times. I'm surprisingly not tired, though. I think I might actually read a bit before I go to bed. I'm in a weird place in "Jayber Crowe" (yes, i'm still finishing it) where I know I will finish it while I'm out of town, so I have to take a second book to start. I miss traveling a lot. It's one of my favorite times to read. Actually, I've REALLY been missing traveling lately. I'm really coveting Whit's life at the moment. (Whit is currently playing guitar, touring with Plumb and is maybe one of two people who read this. Hey Whit! ;) ) It's weird because I've had days lately of feeling really satisfied and excited about things that are happening or could be happening. Maybe that's it... the looking forward. They haven't happened yet, but they could...and that's what gets me every time. I remain in a posture lately that is at best anticipatory. I like what I'm doing, I just.... well, i just want to be on the road playing music, really...music I believe in with people I love. That sounds like a tall order. I miss playing in a band and creating something greater than yourself, about getting behind something you believe in...there's something indescribable about it. so, i'll stop trying to do so now. I think that's a big part of it for me. There are things I really love and believe in that I really want to happen...or succeed...or whatever you call it. And if I can help that happen in any way, I get crazy excited. I have a feeling none of this will make much sense to anyone else, but, so it goes. The whole thing seems silly if I step back and think about it. I should be grateful for what I have been given, which is much. And yet... the longing remains.
I'm heading out of town for a while next week. I leave for Dallas, Texas on the 11th for Shea and Catherine's wedding, then arrive back in Nashville for a few hours before leaving for Florida for RUF Summer Conference. Aaaanyway. The trips will be fun, I'm sure, but it's making these last few days I have in town crazy. My looking forward to the trip does includes getting to spend some quality time and to better know some RUF friends, but I must confess many of the things I'm looking forward to involve my leper-like social skills. Environments like that often create in me a desire to spend a great deal of time alone. Not so much out of annoyance of others or anything, I just like it. I'm sure there's more to it than that, though. But, I trust that the very struggles that keep me from intimacy are the very best places for intimacy to happen. I trust in all my unrest and longing that God is committed to my good, though I am not. I have traded one idol for another. I have deemed solitude worthy because I enjoy it sometimes, not because I long to process through things I should or meditate on truths to bring me back to sanity. I have filled days with company and evaded real community. Marva Dawn says "If we find out what true community costs, we often don't want to pay it." Basil Pennington said, “The rigorous demands of true friendship…the gift of one’s self, one’s time, one’s preferences (that's so great and telling), the nakedness and honesty, are beyond the price most are willing to pay. But those who have not experienced it, don’t know what is purchased by such a price. Anyone who has been graced with true friendship, though, knows how it is worth it." But do we have that kind of true friendship? Gosh, I'm helplessly thankful that anything I encounter or invent that keeps me from being who I was made to be... that keeps me from "getting it right" has been conquered. I must continue to tell myself that even in my unbelief. Oh, that we might find brothers and sisters that would be committed to our good than our favor. Oh that we might be made into those same people.
good night, friends.
i love you all.
p.s. go listen to sandra's "Rock of Ages (When The Day Seems Long)"...it came on during the beginning of this blog and five plays later, it's still on repeat. I don't think I'll ever not want to hear that song.
http://www.igracemusic.com/sandrahymns/index.htm
I'm heading out of town for a while next week. I leave for Dallas, Texas on the 11th for Shea and Catherine's wedding, then arrive back in Nashville for a few hours before leaving for Florida for RUF Summer Conference. Aaaanyway. The trips will be fun, I'm sure, but it's making these last few days I have in town crazy. My looking forward to the trip does includes getting to spend some quality time and to better know some RUF friends, but I must confess many of the things I'm looking forward to involve my leper-like social skills. Environments like that often create in me a desire to spend a great deal of time alone. Not so much out of annoyance of others or anything, I just like it. I'm sure there's more to it than that, though. But, I trust that the very struggles that keep me from intimacy are the very best places for intimacy to happen. I trust in all my unrest and longing that God is committed to my good, though I am not. I have traded one idol for another. I have deemed solitude worthy because I enjoy it sometimes, not because I long to process through things I should or meditate on truths to bring me back to sanity. I have filled days with company and evaded real community. Marva Dawn says "If we find out what true community costs, we often don't want to pay it." Basil Pennington said, “The rigorous demands of true friendship…the gift of one’s self, one’s time, one’s preferences (that's so great and telling), the nakedness and honesty, are beyond the price most are willing to pay. But those who have not experienced it, don’t know what is purchased by such a price. Anyone who has been graced with true friendship, though, knows how it is worth it." But do we have that kind of true friendship? Gosh, I'm helplessly thankful that anything I encounter or invent that keeps me from being who I was made to be... that keeps me from "getting it right" has been conquered. I must continue to tell myself that even in my unbelief. Oh, that we might find brothers and sisters that would be committed to our good than our favor. Oh that we might be made into those same people.
good night, friends.
i love you all.
p.s. go listen to sandra's "Rock of Ages (When The Day Seems Long)"...it came on during the beginning of this blog and five plays later, it's still on repeat. I don't think I'll ever not want to hear that song.
http://www.igracemusic.com/sandrahymns/index.htm
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The Tailenders and other adventures from the Nashville Film Festival
Well, it seems like a long time has passed since this weekend, but I'll try to recount the events with as much accuracy as possible. This past weekend was the Nashville Film Festival. A friend of mine had a laminate pass, but was going to be gone all weekend. He graciously gave me his (thanks HK). It was as if someone had given me a free pass to six flags (and Lord knows I love me some amusement parks). I went to see so many movies. I would have seen more had my schedule permitted, but i still saw a glorious bounty of film. Including:
Fourteen - a film short with no dialogue about a fourteen year old's Mormon wedding day to a 58 year old man.
For the Love of Dolly -A journey into the hearts and homes of Dolly Parton's most devoted fans, held together by the shared love for their icon and a need to be close to her.... it was unbelievable.
In a Nutshell: A Portrait of Elizabeth Tashjian -A well-salted look at eccentric nut collector and former curator of the Nut Museum and the town's efforts to close it.
Danielson: A Family Movie - A music-filled look at Daniel Smith, eccentric Christian musician, as he leads his four siblings to indie-rock stardom, launching the career of Sufjan Stevens along the way.
Party for the People - short film creatively explored the links between communism and rock n' roll.
Chances: The Women of Magdalene - A truly inspirational story about a group of women who know Dickerson Pike all too well; and maverick Becca Stevens, who creates a program to help them recover. [*featuring a cameo by our own Emily DeLoach singing in the Kim Carnes all-star choir brigade!!]
Aurora Borealis - Joshua Jackson, Juliette Lewis, Donald Sutherland and Louise Fletcher star in this tender comedy-drama about bright, charming yet irresponsible Duncan (Jackson) whose need to care for his ailing grandfather (Sutherland) leads him to a brighter future-a future perhaps greatly aided by falling in love with his grandfather's nurse
Tailenders - my absolute favorite movie of the festival. A fascinating look at the 67-year history of Gospel Recordings, a company devoted to reaching out to the last few societies in the world as yet untapped by Christian missionaries. It was remarkable. I'm still thinking through it. If I had it in my possession, I would be watching it over and over again. I hope to be doing this as soon as it's in my little paws. There was so many great things about sound and the disembodied voice and how when these people in the Solomon Islands are played this voice booming through a box they've never seen before, the voice has so much more authority than any one person ever could. But, they're not just buying the story when the sign on to what the missionaries bring, they're signing on to the technology they bring as well as the wealth they see others gaining...aaah... i could go on forever. Adele Horne, the filmmaker, sat in front of me during the screening. This was a little unnerving as I ebbed and flowed in and out of being really conscious of my audible reactions to things. As all of the filmmakers who were at the festival did, Adele stuck around for Q&A after the showing. I actually asked a few questions. Afterwards, she came back up to get her stuff (which was sitting beside my seat) and we got to chat a little. Throughout the film festival I think I ran into her and what some might called "mildly stalked" her. Not really, but I did love talking to her and think she has created a phenomenal film. She said she's working on a new one about peripheral vision. I can't wait. You all must see this film. It's airing on PBS on July 25th www.pbs.org/pov/tailenders/
Read more about this film and the filmmaker here... http://www.adelehorne.net/Page02.htm
Fourteen - a film short with no dialogue about a fourteen year old's Mormon wedding day to a 58 year old man.
For the Love of Dolly -A journey into the hearts and homes of Dolly Parton's most devoted fans, held together by the shared love for their icon and a need to be close to her.... it was unbelievable.
In a Nutshell: A Portrait of Elizabeth Tashjian -A well-salted look at eccentric nut collector and former curator of the Nut Museum and the town's efforts to close it.
Danielson: A Family Movie - A music-filled look at Daniel Smith, eccentric Christian musician, as he leads his four siblings to indie-rock stardom, launching the career of Sufjan Stevens along the way.
Party for the People - short film creatively explored the links between communism and rock n' roll.
Chances: The Women of Magdalene - A truly inspirational story about a group of women who know Dickerson Pike all too well; and maverick Becca Stevens, who creates a program to help them recover. [*featuring a cameo by our own Emily DeLoach singing in the Kim Carnes all-star choir brigade!!]
Aurora Borealis - Joshua Jackson, Juliette Lewis, Donald Sutherland and Louise Fletcher star in this tender comedy-drama about bright, charming yet irresponsible Duncan (Jackson) whose need to care for his ailing grandfather (Sutherland) leads him to a brighter future-a future perhaps greatly aided by falling in love with his grandfather's nurse
Tailenders - my absolute favorite movie of the festival. A fascinating look at the 67-year history of Gospel Recordings, a company devoted to reaching out to the last few societies in the world as yet untapped by Christian missionaries. It was remarkable. I'm still thinking through it. If I had it in my possession, I would be watching it over and over again. I hope to be doing this as soon as it's in my little paws. There was so many great things about sound and the disembodied voice and how when these people in the Solomon Islands are played this voice booming through a box they've never seen before, the voice has so much more authority than any one person ever could. But, they're not just buying the story when the sign on to what the missionaries bring, they're signing on to the technology they bring as well as the wealth they see others gaining...aaah... i could go on forever. Adele Horne, the filmmaker, sat in front of me during the screening. This was a little unnerving as I ebbed and flowed in and out of being really conscious of my audible reactions to things. As all of the filmmakers who were at the festival did, Adele stuck around for Q&A after the showing. I actually asked a few questions. Afterwards, she came back up to get her stuff (which was sitting beside my seat) and we got to chat a little. Throughout the film festival I think I ran into her and what some might called "mildly stalked" her. Not really, but I did love talking to her and think she has created a phenomenal film. She said she's working on a new one about peripheral vision. I can't wait. You all must see this film. It's airing on PBS on July 25th www.pbs.org/pov/tailenders/
Read more about this film and the filmmaker here... http://www.adelehorne.net/Page02.htm
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
this is no place for a house.
So, I after rehearsal and a quick waffle house stop, LT and I watched "Proof". I thought it was excellent. Thumbs up. But that's a different story. So, I begin driving home at circa 2:15am, after just watching a movie involving questioning one's grip on reality. As I fly down Woodmont, I suddenly crest the hill and see a two story home spanning both lanes of the road. For a moment, I cannot decide if I'm crazy crazy or just crazy. I then see the wheels beneath and the truck behind and men with flashlights. One man is sitting on the roof, lifting the stoplights so that the roof can pass under them. After waiting a considerable amount of time, i decide to try and find my way around. This is probably the 5th time this has happened to me. Is this really that common? It's just weird and can freak the crap out of you at 2:30 in the morning. I'm just sayin.
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
just a quick break
It's only 10pm and i'm about to fall asleep. i'm such a wuss. We worked on Dawson's art all day today. seriously. 10am - 6pm. but, it's pretty much done and it was a really fun day. just a bit of editing and a quick proofread and it's off.
Can I just say how much I love noiseland? It's really rare that you find a cd manufacturing company that you love. I think I've found one. Now that I've convinced Dawson to use them, this will be 3 records I've worked with them on and I still love them. It just baffles the mind. If any of you are in the market for such a service, check them out. they're a delight. www.noiseland.com
So, Rachel and I are working on starting a print company. One that will design and print tshirts and posters.... really bitchin ones. "wires and fires" Next week we decide on a logo. Fun times. Know anyone who needs the aforementioned products? holla.
I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight. I'm heading home for Easter on Friday. It makes this week a bit more stressful, but it will be good to see the fam and sit on the deck. sigh. i'm already excited. I just love to be outside. If I can spend as much time outside as possible, that would be greeeat. I wish I could see the display on my computer better in my backyard. maybe i should get those big shield things. hmmm.
danny masterson is an attractive, attractive man. i'm not one for the celebrity crush, but he's playing on celebrity poker right now and.... i'm just sayin. we should date.
alright. i've seriously got to get back to work. until next time, loves...
Can I just say how much I love noiseland? It's really rare that you find a cd manufacturing company that you love. I think I've found one. Now that I've convinced Dawson to use them, this will be 3 records I've worked with them on and I still love them. It just baffles the mind. If any of you are in the market for such a service, check them out. they're a delight. www.noiseland.com
So, Rachel and I are working on starting a print company. One that will design and print tshirts and posters.... really bitchin ones. "wires and fires" Next week we decide on a logo. Fun times. Know anyone who needs the aforementioned products? holla.
I have a lot of work ahead of me tonight. I'm heading home for Easter on Friday. It makes this week a bit more stressful, but it will be good to see the fam and sit on the deck. sigh. i'm already excited. I just love to be outside. If I can spend as much time outside as possible, that would be greeeat. I wish I could see the display on my computer better in my backyard. maybe i should get those big shield things. hmmm.
danny masterson is an attractive, attractive man. i'm not one for the celebrity crush, but he's playing on celebrity poker right now and.... i'm just sayin. we should date.
alright. i've seriously got to get back to work. until next time, loves...
Thursday, April 06, 2006
way over yonder in a minor key
Gosh, I don't want to work today. I've been so busy lately, I start to feel like I should just get in the car and take a vacation... or at least have a movie marathon with friends who have equally unstructured jobs. I'll take either at this point. A vacation does sound totally sweet, though. I also feel like i have no room to complain. I love my job(s). I do. very much. sooo, maybe i should just suck it up and remember that. done and done.
I always wonder what people listen to on their ipods. there's a myriad of ages and people types at the Y all donning earphones. What gets them through that 30min stairclimb? who knows. Questions for heaven. I've thought about an invention that shows what you're listening to in a thought bubble sort of thing like the thing over the SIMS heads. You could turn it off and on, of course. Until I get a prototype running, we'll just have to wonder.
I realized lately that I have very specific things I listen to in specific situations. By this I mean, if I'm going to clean or mow the lawn, I have a playlist that usually does right by me. This playlist always includes Bonnie Raitt's "Nick of Time".
When my dad would let me mow the lawn, I would take my walkman cassette player and headphones and listen to that record over and over. When I finally got the CD, I would always hear a break where the tape should be flipped. It so fun to know a record so well that you know the keys of all the songs based on the end of the song before it. fun/really nerdy.
For cooking, it has to be old soul stuff, motown, or blues. Ray Charles. mmmm.
Outside on a warm night with friends... it's crazy old jazz records.
Working out.... i mix this one up. radiohead's "ideoteque" is great. but, sometimes i really dig running to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. There's something about it when "Radio Cure" comes on. Everything around you is moving so quickly, but it makes things feel like a movie somehow... like you're not there. You know that scene in Garden State in the very beginning when he's on the plane in slow motion and everyone's freaking out and he's just staring? Yeah. Like that.
I've been playing guitar lately for this kid... www.myspace.com/dawsonwells I dig his stuff. It's so so fun. It makes me remember how much I love playing...especially in a band with friends. It's made me really long to do it more. sigh.
"it'll all work out"
I always wonder what people listen to on their ipods. there's a myriad of ages and people types at the Y all donning earphones. What gets them through that 30min stairclimb? who knows. Questions for heaven. I've thought about an invention that shows what you're listening to in a thought bubble sort of thing like the thing over the SIMS heads. You could turn it off and on, of course. Until I get a prototype running, we'll just have to wonder.
I realized lately that I have very specific things I listen to in specific situations. By this I mean, if I'm going to clean or mow the lawn, I have a playlist that usually does right by me. This playlist always includes Bonnie Raitt's "Nick of Time".
When my dad would let me mow the lawn, I would take my walkman cassette player and headphones and listen to that record over and over. When I finally got the CD, I would always hear a break where the tape should be flipped. It so fun to know a record so well that you know the keys of all the songs based on the end of the song before it. fun/really nerdy. For cooking, it has to be old soul stuff, motown, or blues. Ray Charles. mmmm.
Outside on a warm night with friends... it's crazy old jazz records.
Working out.... i mix this one up. radiohead's "ideoteque" is great. but, sometimes i really dig running to Yankee Hotel Foxtrot. There's something about it when "Radio Cure" comes on. Everything around you is moving so quickly, but it makes things feel like a movie somehow... like you're not there. You know that scene in Garden State in the very beginning when he's on the plane in slow motion and everyone's freaking out and he's just staring? Yeah. Like that.
I've been playing guitar lately for this kid... www.myspace.com/dawsonwells I dig his stuff. It's so so fun. It makes me remember how much I love playing...especially in a band with friends. It's made me really long to do it more. sigh.
"it'll all work out"
Thursday, March 23, 2006
If you wanna go somewhere... if you wanna be somebody...
I think i need a night in. I've been running around like crazy all day. but at 8pm, you have to wonder if a nap is really in the cards. "Sister Act II : Back in the Habit" just came on. What a blessing. How is it that I've seen both "Sister Act" and it's equally stunning sequal so many times? seriously. how did that happen? But then again, how could you hate on Lauryn Hill? You can't.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Saturday, March 18, 2006
there is no sunken treasure.
sweet fancy moses the wilco show was good. seems too much to re-tell. but here's the setlist and a few pics (not of my taking). just close your eyes and envision awesome. ... it was better than that.
1. Sunken Treasure
2. Remember The Mountain Bed
3. Airline To Heaven
4. At My Window Sad And Lonely
5. Forget The Flowers
6. When The Roses Bloom Again
7. California Stars
8. Muzzle Of Bees
9. Hell Is Chrome
10. Spiders (Kidsmoke)
11. Jesus, Etc.
12. Walken
13. Handshake Drugs
14. I Am Trying To Break Your Heart
15. A Shot In The Arm
16. At Least That's What You Said
17. The Late Greats
Encore 1:
18. Hummingbird
19. new song (Maybe The Sun Will Shine Today)
20. Theologians
21. I'm The Man Who Loves You
22. Kingpin
Encore 2:
23. Passenger Side
24. War On War
Encore 3:
25. Acuff-Rose (Jeff solo acoustic unplugged)
So, for the last encore, Tweedy came out and said something like, "I hate to say goodbye, so I'll leave you with this song. I'm going to play it the way it was supposed to be played in this room". He then unplugs his guitar and walks away from the mic to the front of the stage. The crowd who was moments ago dancing and jumping (unlike I've ever seen in that room) was now completely silent and straining to see/hear what was happening. you could hear a pin drop, but instead you heard jeff f-ing tweedy sing and play and...melt my heart of stone. It was good night. Fun abounded.
Friday, March 17, 2006
excuse me, but your Johari window is open.
Today’s one of those days where I just think, “gosh. I love my job(s).” I had two shoots back to back at the studio, both of which were for people I had never met but who were really really great through the whole process. I had quite a bit of down time between things where I read some more on Jayber Crowe, listened to good music and played with two of my favorite puppies. It’s fun to have friends assist me. On work like I did today, I must admit, it’s mainly for the company (and to prevent as much awkwardness as possible with new people.)
Despite popular belief, I’m crazy shy around new people. I think in formidable years, I was in structured environments like the academy and at the camp I worked at, where you forced to suck it up. If you’re on staff or a counselor, especially, there’s not really an option to be shy around 15 new kids every week. You basically had an afternoon to make everyone feel comfortable and a week to love them. It was a real challenge for me, though I can’t remember every talking to anyone about it then. But, I’m really thankful for those years. I still feel that tension, though. (Introvert trying to be an extrovert enough where eventually you’re both) that was confusing enough.
I’ve always been fascinated by Johari windows. Or similar concepts/tools. - The idea that there are things about a person that fall into the following four “quadrants”:
a) There are characteristics or behaviors that are known only to the self, but that people may never see or understand,
b) There are things about the person that both the self and others know.
c) There are characteristics that the person possesses that they are unaware of, but are known to others
d) There are behaviors or motives, which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.
It’s just fascinating to think about. My friend Jason created one. It’s hard to do an online version, and you have to trust that those participating will be honest. Who knows, maybe I’ll get brave and post the link to mine. A good day to all.
Despite popular belief, I’m crazy shy around new people. I think in formidable years, I was in structured environments like the academy and at the camp I worked at, where you forced to suck it up. If you’re on staff or a counselor, especially, there’s not really an option to be shy around 15 new kids every week. You basically had an afternoon to make everyone feel comfortable and a week to love them. It was a real challenge for me, though I can’t remember every talking to anyone about it then. But, I’m really thankful for those years. I still feel that tension, though. (Introvert trying to be an extrovert enough where eventually you’re both) that was confusing enough.
I’ve always been fascinated by Johari windows. Or similar concepts/tools. - The idea that there are things about a person that fall into the following four “quadrants”:
a) There are characteristics or behaviors that are known only to the self, but that people may never see or understand,
b) There are things about the person that both the self and others know.
c) There are characteristics that the person possesses that they are unaware of, but are known to others
d) There are behaviors or motives, which were not recognized by anyone participating. This may be because they do not apply, or because there is collective ignorance of the existence of that trait.
It’s just fascinating to think about. My friend Jason created one. It’s hard to do an online version, and you have to trust that those participating will be honest. Who knows, maybe I’ll get brave and post the link to mine. A good day to all.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
heads or....
tails are weird. have you ever felt one? they're really weird feeling. i can't say that i want one... or will want one.. ever. I've always wanted paws, though. not just any paws, but lion paws. that would be sweet.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
C.C. Bloom and spring. These are a few of my favorite things.
I feel bombarded with things lately that i'm supposed to use to make people think i'm cool. In a way, i suppose, this has a lot to do with the intimacy/technology relationship (see the blog about blogging). Things like LastFM which tracks your plays in itunes (if you choose this platform) and builds a detailed profile of each user's musical taste, showing their favorite artists and songs on a customizable profile webpage. It shows your most played artists, most played songs by week and overall. I can't say that mine gets many hits as there are two people who know about it, but i get this feeling every time I go to someone else's... or my own. I get the sinking feeling that the user's awareness or self-consciousness of this public display often outweighs that of others' interest. I mean, it's cool. it's really cool. i like going to people's. i like going to mine. but, i know multiple friends who manipulate their listenings so they'll... well, so they'll look cooler. The same principle applies for me with profile songs on myspace. i just can't do it. b/c i know i would be thinking about who thinks the song is lame... or something to that effect. And now away (and "available" if you have a mac) messages on instant messenger hold the same power. "Working at Rolling Stone with Joey Lawrence" "recording yanni at Peter Gabriel's 'Real World' studio". I'm just sayin. there's a lot to live up to there. But, don't start getting all paranoid about your away messages, friends. Please.
We are inherently masters at this craft of 'cool' (or at least we long to be). In saying all of the above, know that the "understood you" of the thought is that we (myself especially) can do this with anything. Houses, colloquialisms, sunglasses, DVD collections... Everything. I feel confident that there are many many people who can be good stewards of this technology, I'm just probably not one of them.
In other news, AMC has been a channel after my own heart today. Two of my favorite movies are "Beaches" and "Big". (A funny addition after that last little bit about being cool.) apparently this is 80s week at AMC and they're showing Beaches today and Big on Sunday. right on, amc. right on. you know, i've never thought about it until just now, but it's kinda weird that they call it "Beaches". I mean, it starts on a beach and ends on a beach, but i'm just sayin. There's a lot of in between time where a lot of things were said that might inspire a title. i don't know. i'm not sayin. i'm just sayin.
The weather has been so amazing lately. It completely changes my outlook. As a result, I cleaned the house, bought a ton of fresh produce and went on a long walk with friends and pups.... aaaand the moon was crazy awesome. Crazy Horse. Harvest Moon. gosh i love neil young.
We are inherently masters at this craft of 'cool' (or at least we long to be). In saying all of the above, know that the "understood you" of the thought is that we (myself especially) can do this with anything. Houses, colloquialisms, sunglasses, DVD collections... Everything. I feel confident that there are many many people who can be good stewards of this technology, I'm just probably not one of them.
In other news, AMC has been a channel after my own heart today. Two of my favorite movies are "Beaches" and "Big". (A funny addition after that last little bit about being cool.) apparently this is 80s week at AMC and they're showing Beaches today and Big on Sunday. right on, amc. right on. you know, i've never thought about it until just now, but it's kinda weird that they call it "Beaches". I mean, it starts on a beach and ends on a beach, but i'm just sayin. There's a lot of in between time where a lot of things were said that might inspire a title. i don't know. i'm not sayin. i'm just sayin.
The weather has been so amazing lately. It completely changes my outlook. As a result, I cleaned the house, bought a ton of fresh produce and went on a long walk with friends and pups.... aaaand the moon was crazy awesome. Crazy Horse. Harvest Moon. gosh i love neil young.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Monday, February 27, 2006
the blog about blogging
so, i never really know what to think about the concept of blogging. thanks to the inquisitive mind of some friends, it's on my mind again lately. I've sat down to decide where i think things fall on the topic for me a number of times now and still, I don't have much to show. I love letters. This alone makes me a prime canidate to hate blogging. I love sending and receiving letters and I love reading collections of letters with my heart. (Emily Dickinson "Selected Letters" is a fav) I don't want this tradition to be lost and in advance I refuse to ever read a book of emails. ever. I almost never send a package without sending a letter with it, but other than that, i'm not doing much to keep this alive. i need to get on that. For me, blogging is an interesting phenomenon too because i don't edit them and i almost never re-read them before i post. this is dangerous, but i find if i do, i start thinking too much about it. Most writing that is presented in an accessible, public way seeks a specific purpose and as a result is endlessly edited. Not that this is a bad thing, just a fact. Even in the most benign scenario, this process subtly distorts journalism, poetry, or whatever the medium is. You find yourself almost unconsciously writing to please a handful of people. It would be naive to say that I could write completely unaffected and unconcerned by and for whoever may happen to read this. But my intention is to try my best to avoid such.
It's really interesting to read friends' blogs. They are always thoroughly imbued with the temper of their writer. Some blogs read just as the author speaks. Some blogs are considerably more serious or somber than the author ever seems in person, and some are endlessly positive despite the author's general disposition in person. Some blogs fill in details of stories you have heard only the frame-work for. There's something to blogging that offers you a skape-goat. It says, "if you get bored out of your mind, you can just stop reading" where conversation frowns on leaving mid-sentence. This can be dangerous and threatens to work against real friendship and deep community.
Now if you know me well, or even at all, you probably know I love technology. You probably also know I love being outside ... saaay... in the woods. I love both, but need to be more aware and honest about the role of technology in my life and culture. I do think technology leads to an excessive need to be constantly stimulated. This is something I've thought about in raising children. I grew up in a rural area where i didn't have any friends who lived nearby. This rarely bothered me not because I had anything figured out, but b/c i didn't know anything else, thus when I saw my friends it was always a sweet time. We have DVD players on in the headrests during the 10 min drive home from school. It boggles the mind. Now, Don't think I don't think this is simultaneously really super cool, b/c i do... it just necessitates a wisdom in using these things wisely. I'm scared of a generation who with just a moment of silence says they're bored. Humo Kais said "They aren't bored enough yet. If they get bored enough, they'll imagine something to do." buuuut seriously folks.
Marva Dawn champions, "If you have technology, and it keeps escalating, you will have a corresponding decrease in intimacy." You want intimacy, but you know technology, so you reverse the poles and you technologize your intimacy and intimize your technology. So, that's why we have to advertise cars with a cozy scene of a family going on a picnic, phone commercials that show family and friends talking with warm backgrounds trying to convince us that it's just like being there. But we know it is not. Oh how we know.
I'm still thinking this through, so we're going sans-concluding paragraph on this day. sorry, kids.
Forgive us for our attempts to restore balance in our lives.
Fill us with an eagerness to pour out ourselves b/c you have poured out yourself first.
It's really interesting to read friends' blogs. They are always thoroughly imbued with the temper of their writer. Some blogs read just as the author speaks. Some blogs are considerably more serious or somber than the author ever seems in person, and some are endlessly positive despite the author's general disposition in person. Some blogs fill in details of stories you have heard only the frame-work for. There's something to blogging that offers you a skape-goat. It says, "if you get bored out of your mind, you can just stop reading" where conversation frowns on leaving mid-sentence. This can be dangerous and threatens to work against real friendship and deep community.
Now if you know me well, or even at all, you probably know I love technology. You probably also know I love being outside ... saaay... in the woods. I love both, but need to be more aware and honest about the role of technology in my life and culture. I do think technology leads to an excessive need to be constantly stimulated. This is something I've thought about in raising children. I grew up in a rural area where i didn't have any friends who lived nearby. This rarely bothered me not because I had anything figured out, but b/c i didn't know anything else, thus when I saw my friends it was always a sweet time. We have DVD players on in the headrests during the 10 min drive home from school. It boggles the mind. Now, Don't think I don't think this is simultaneously really super cool, b/c i do... it just necessitates a wisdom in using these things wisely. I'm scared of a generation who with just a moment of silence says they're bored. Humo Kais said "They aren't bored enough yet. If they get bored enough, they'll imagine something to do." buuuut seriously folks.
Marva Dawn champions, "If you have technology, and it keeps escalating, you will have a corresponding decrease in intimacy." You want intimacy, but you know technology, so you reverse the poles and you technologize your intimacy and intimize your technology. So, that's why we have to advertise cars with a cozy scene of a family going on a picnic, phone commercials that show family and friends talking with warm backgrounds trying to convince us that it's just like being there. But we know it is not. Oh how we know.
I'm still thinking this through, so we're going sans-concluding paragraph on this day. sorry, kids.
Forgive us for our attempts to restore balance in our lives.
Fill us with an eagerness to pour out ourselves b/c you have poured out yourself first.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Don't go chasin' waterfalls
i know it's been a few days since this happened, but i went to fall creek falls over the weekend and meant to post about it. i did not. i'm sorry. however, his mercies are new in the morning.
It snowed quite a bit (for TN) and I even took off on, what turned out to be, a 6 mile hike to the falls. I went by myself and it was so great. I took off kind of late but kept saying to myself "well, i've come this far..." so, i ended up walking the last 1 1/2 miles in the dark on an ice/snow covered path. it was so quiet the whole way. for some reason, the last stretch i decided to pull out the ole ipod and listen to death cab's "transatlaticism". it turned out to be a good decision. those last tracks are just killer. i'm working on a little collage of the falls, but here's a normal one. :)
In other really sweet news, Charissa got engaged the friday we arrived at the falls. sooooooo awesome. :) congrats, kids.
It snowed quite a bit (for TN) and I even took off on, what turned out to be, a 6 mile hike to the falls. I went by myself and it was so great. I took off kind of late but kept saying to myself "well, i've come this far..." so, i ended up walking the last 1 1/2 miles in the dark on an ice/snow covered path. it was so quiet the whole way. for some reason, the last stretch i decided to pull out the ole ipod and listen to death cab's "transatlaticism". it turned out to be a good decision. those last tracks are just killer. i'm working on a little collage of the falls, but here's a normal one. :)
In other really sweet news, Charissa got engaged the friday we arrived at the falls. sooooooo awesome. :) congrats, kids.
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
ah the dream machine makes it hard to see.
i feel like i could post a great deal about what i saw and heard last night, but tonight i just don't think i can do it. i saw daniel lanois play at the belcourt last night and it was amazing. best asserted, i believe, by sandra when she described it as "lessons on "how to play live music"". i posted some pictures on my flickr site of danny and the boys and of course "emmy" (who i still maintain should be called "lou"). www.flickr.com/photos/jordanbrooke/sets
happy valentine's day.
if you can't be with the one you hug, honey, hug the one your with.
Saturday, February 11, 2006
i really don't know life at all.
praise Him for party shuffle. the party shuffle on my itunes today has brought joni mitchell back into my ears. (though she never left my heart. :) ) if you don't have blue, go and get it. it's crazy that i remember a time when i heard joni mitchell and thought she sounded weird and just didn't get it. now i do. forgive me, joni. i didn't know anything at all. it's really amazing to listen to the record "Both Sides Now" after hearing records like "Blue". It gives the song 'both sides now' a whole new hue. It always makes me realize what side of that song i'm on, and think of the day when i will be old and it will come on and i will remember this time.
sometimes it feels like you're watching things in slow motion. relationships changing, the people around you (and you yourself) becoming different people. for this moment, i recommend the latter of the "both sides now" versions.
"now old friends are acting strange. they shake their head, they say i've changed.
well, something's lost, but something's gained in living every day."
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
these things that circle round today
Thoughts on this day....
Working out at the Y today, I was wondering a thought I frequent.... with all of these people working out on stair machines and rowing thingys and treadmills, can't we power the rest of the building? can't we run the lights of this building using the energy we're creating here? I don't know if it's possible, but it seems logical.
I've always thought a lot about working on records or art or.... anything, really... that you don't think is good, or you don't believe in. (pay no attention to the punctuation or syntax in the previous sentence) I thought for years that if I thought a record sucked, i shouldn't work on it and perpetuate bad art. You give your name to something and say it's worth all that goes with that, right? There are more than a few things in life that when the "rubber met the road" so to speak, I found myself unsure of what I once was sure of. This is one. I'm currently in the muck of this. Am I giving in? Am I using my empty bank account as an unjustified excuse? Do I not trust I'll be provided for? I can answer that last one, but it still needs to be asked.
just know you're doomed from the start if you audition to be in a band for a girl described as a "one woman band".
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5187870
i deleted 1,386 emails this weekend. i love plane rides.
may i never forget, (or more realistically be constantly reminded each time i forget) of my context and purpose in this world. i live in a town where i pay to go to building and run in place. there are people who have to walk miles to get unclean water to keep them alive.
there are people like Fred Phelps http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5192571
i hope i can realize that and be moved to act, not merely moved to despair.
there are people like Coretta Scott King and Judy Whitten.
i hope i can realize that and be moved to increase the good, not merely moved to despair that i am not .
Working out at the Y today, I was wondering a thought I frequent.... with all of these people working out on stair machines and rowing thingys and treadmills, can't we power the rest of the building? can't we run the lights of this building using the energy we're creating here? I don't know if it's possible, but it seems logical.
I've always thought a lot about working on records or art or.... anything, really... that you don't think is good, or you don't believe in. (pay no attention to the punctuation or syntax in the previous sentence) I thought for years that if I thought a record sucked, i shouldn't work on it and perpetuate bad art. You give your name to something and say it's worth all that goes with that, right? There are more than a few things in life that when the "rubber met the road" so to speak, I found myself unsure of what I once was sure of. This is one. I'm currently in the muck of this. Am I giving in? Am I using my empty bank account as an unjustified excuse? Do I not trust I'll be provided for? I can answer that last one, but it still needs to be asked.
just know you're doomed from the start if you audition to be in a band for a girl described as a "one woman band".
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5187870
i deleted 1,386 emails this weekend. i love plane rides.
may i never forget, (or more realistically be constantly reminded each time i forget) of my context and purpose in this world. i live in a town where i pay to go to building and run in place. there are people who have to walk miles to get unclean water to keep them alive.
there are people like Fred Phelps http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=5192571
i hope i can realize that and be moved to act, not merely moved to despair.
there are people like Coretta Scott King and Judy Whitten.
i hope i can realize that and be moved to increase the good, not merely moved to despair that i am not .
Saturday, January 21, 2006
oh condi, condi
who knew that the label on the meds about not mixing with booze was fo serious? i thought that was a hoax like in 2000 when everyone bought all that water and batteries and stuff.
buddytown party.
jason and rufus' bday party.
i may be getting sick, but that can't hold me back on this night.
i like wine.
buddytown party.
jason and rufus' bday party.
i may be getting sick, but that can't hold me back on this night.
i like wine.
Friday, January 13, 2006
Thursday, January 12, 2006
It's a hell of a life, but it's somebody's life.
Last night by a REALLY random series of events, I got to go to the Ryman show. Patty Griffin, Emmylou Harris and Paula Cole. oh and Mindy Smith was there too. jokes. kinda. Anyway, it was a good time. Highlights: Patty sang a lot of amazing new stuff. I'm really looking forward to the next record. I hear they're working on one as I type. Emmylou was great and took great advantage to using all the voices she had on the stage with her and sang a lot of really great songs. Imagine that. They did a sort of "in the round (though it never is actually round)" setup. Paula was really sweet and did a great job. There were a few moments when she wasn't really singing out that fumbled, but you felt like you were rooting for her to come on through.... and she did. One of my favorite moments of the evening was what I fear will become a "you had to be there" moment. Which is sad, but who knows... Paula played "Feelin' Love" and introduced it by saying, "so, had just gotten married and was very much in love and wrote this...um... well, nasty little sex song. For those of you who who saw "City of Angels", it's the song playing as he's watching her take a bath (before his "fall"). I've always dug the song and was really excited to hear it live. She gave such a great performance with much "hootin' and hollerin'" (as they say) from the crowd... myself included. After the song ended, there was a long pause and Patty (who was next in the round) finally said, "well, paula, i'm not really sure where to go after that.... I mean, I know where I wanna go... but I don't guess i can right now." (insert copious amounts of laughter) Patty: "Anyway, back to the dogs.... well, i guess that was kinda about some doggy things...." (roaring laughter).... "no no. ok. back to the dogs and the cats... well, i guess it was about cats too." I mean, Patty Griffin. unreal. I was laughing with maybe a tear or two emmerging and look over and the guy next to me has not cracked a smile the entire time. awkward! Hm. other highlights...
-The amusing introduction of everyone's "wing men". Emmylou introduced "two of her dearest friends" singing/playing (an unamed acoustic guitar running through a horrendously 80s chorus pedal...what?). Then Mindy introduced her "best friend in the world who I've known and played with for x years" Lex Price. Next, Paula introduced her REALLY REALLY "best friend and musical soulmate who i met at Berklee" to play drums (his name escapes me, but was really great). Then Patty "brought out" Doug Lancio, who had already snuck on stage and was seated behind her. It was a really funny round of "No. MY best friend in the world is playing with me and we've known each other longer."
The writing of this blog has been interrupted now 4 times. So, i'm taking my cue. peace. love. and moses.
-The amusing introduction of everyone's "wing men". Emmylou introduced "two of her dearest friends" singing/playing (an unamed acoustic guitar running through a horrendously 80s chorus pedal...what?). Then Mindy introduced her "best friend in the world who I've known and played with for x years" Lex Price. Next, Paula introduced her REALLY REALLY "best friend and musical soulmate who i met at Berklee" to play drums (his name escapes me, but was really great). Then Patty "brought out" Doug Lancio, who had already snuck on stage and was seated behind her. It was a really funny round of "No. MY best friend in the world is playing with me and we've known each other longer."
The writing of this blog has been interrupted now 4 times. So, i'm taking my cue. peace. love. and moses.
Tuesday, January 10, 2006
the end of things
A friend of mine is dying and there’s nothing I can do. It’s not as if there’s a disaster or an organized cause that I could get behind. You know, like in those shows where they pull support from hundreds of volunteers and a few novelty celebrities and take someone’s dreadful house or wardrobe or... (I guess now…face) and transform them. I see the need. I think “ok. Here’s the problem. Let’s all get behind this and knock it out.” But, as much as something in all of us longs to be a part of God’s making right of all things, my friend will die. I will watch her and talk to her and listen to her every word. Then the words will stop and I will know her in a different way. Learning to love differently is hard.
My friend has always had this wise peace about her. She has known me all of my life (she was there the day I was born) and I remember her as the person I always wanted to be. There’s a specific demeanor… or outlook… or whatever you want to call it, that certain people possess that lead me to believe they understand something I don’t. It’s as if they know everything we cherish will pass out of our lives, and that we, too, shall pass away. And when they come to know this truth as a lived experience, it’s as if they also know a deep love and kindness for everyone else who must take the same road. This seems to be prevalent in friends and family I’ve had with terminal illnesses or a terribly hard road for whatever reason. It’s funny that what joins us to the human race is often our pain and suffering. When we no longer shield ourselves from the vulnerability of our condition, when we feel the basic fragility of our existence, then we feel our essential identity with all living things. Then compassion (literally, “to suffer with”) arises naturally for ourselves and for all others. It seems if this is true, we could figure out some formula to remedy the lack of desire to “suffer with” each other in the world. But, as for this, I fear the worst. But still, there’s something about the “diving in” to that deluge so that you might surface - more closely resembling who you were meant to be. This is the downward, rather than the upward, I suppose, of spiritual paths. You go down into a sorrow or suffering. Not indulgently, not milking your pain to consolidate yet another identity, but with a gesture of moment-by-moment openness to the reality of your condition – the condition of all of us. The “tender gravity of kindness” that emerges in this descent gives rise to a love that cannot die. For such a love is given freely and can never be taken away. No power of hell. No scheme of man. There will come a time when we do not need to commit conscious acts of loving kindness because we will recognize that everything we do is cut from that cloth.
But as for now, I remember (or more accurately, am reminded) and forget. I remember then forget. Then I remember. then forget. My friend is going home. Hallelujah. Someday I’ll say that and mean it more than I ever could on this side of things. But for now, with all that I can muster…hallelujah.
KINDNESS
By Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
What you counted and carefully saved,
All this must go so you know
How desolate the landscape can be
Between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
Thinking the bus will never stop,
The passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window for forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness…
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
You must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
Catches the thread of all sorrows
And you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes any sense anymore,
Only kindness that ties your shoes
And sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
Only kindness that raises its head
From the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
And then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend.
My friend has always had this wise peace about her. She has known me all of my life (she was there the day I was born) and I remember her as the person I always wanted to be. There’s a specific demeanor… or outlook… or whatever you want to call it, that certain people possess that lead me to believe they understand something I don’t. It’s as if they know everything we cherish will pass out of our lives, and that we, too, shall pass away. And when they come to know this truth as a lived experience, it’s as if they also know a deep love and kindness for everyone else who must take the same road. This seems to be prevalent in friends and family I’ve had with terminal illnesses or a terribly hard road for whatever reason. It’s funny that what joins us to the human race is often our pain and suffering. When we no longer shield ourselves from the vulnerability of our condition, when we feel the basic fragility of our existence, then we feel our essential identity with all living things. Then compassion (literally, “to suffer with”) arises naturally for ourselves and for all others. It seems if this is true, we could figure out some formula to remedy the lack of desire to “suffer with” each other in the world. But, as for this, I fear the worst. But still, there’s something about the “diving in” to that deluge so that you might surface - more closely resembling who you were meant to be. This is the downward, rather than the upward, I suppose, of spiritual paths. You go down into a sorrow or suffering. Not indulgently, not milking your pain to consolidate yet another identity, but with a gesture of moment-by-moment openness to the reality of your condition – the condition of all of us. The “tender gravity of kindness” that emerges in this descent gives rise to a love that cannot die. For such a love is given freely and can never be taken away. No power of hell. No scheme of man. There will come a time when we do not need to commit conscious acts of loving kindness because we will recognize that everything we do is cut from that cloth.
But as for now, I remember (or more accurately, am reminded) and forget. I remember then forget. Then I remember. then forget. My friend is going home. Hallelujah. Someday I’ll say that and mean it more than I ever could on this side of things. But for now, with all that I can muster…hallelujah.
KINDNESS
By Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
What you counted and carefully saved,
All this must go so you know
How desolate the landscape can be
Between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
Thinking the bus will never stop,
The passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window for forever.
Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness…
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
You must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
Catches the thread of all sorrows
And you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes any sense anymore,
Only kindness that ties your shoes
And sends you out into the day to mail letters and purchase bread,
Only kindness that raises its head
From the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
And then goes with you everywhere like a shadow or a friend.
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